Shame is something that Christians have to deal with and overcome to grow spiritually. It is something which prevents us from being good human beings and from exploring our abilities. Shame can be felt by ourselves and we can be ashamed of someone else. Children are taught about shame from a young age when they are asked to cover up by telling them, “Shame, shame, puppy shame”, and “Shame, shame, puppy shame, all the monkeys know your name.” Children are asked to dress properly by indirectly shaming them.
From the perspective of
those who are shamed, coming back to the view of the public becomes extremely
difficult, because they think of what others will say. This leads to the
creation of panic, creation of introverts
and even people with psychological issues which become difficult to resolve.
From the perspective of those who gain happiness from shaming others, shaming
is used as a weapon against those they don’t like or want sidelined. Shame is also
what some people feel when we do something they don’t like. For them we have
humiliated the family, spoiled the name of the community and things like that.
St. Mark 2: 16, talks of one such feeling of shame. Verse 16 has the scribes of
the Pharisees saying, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?
The Pharisees among
others tried for a while to appropriate Jesus or have Jesus as someone who said
what they wanted to hear and say. Perhaps they would have also accepted him as
their Messiah if that was the case. But to their shock, he kept surprising them
and doing things they did not like. They are upset that Jesus is eating with
the tax collectors and sinners. John the Baptist in their observation did not
do anything like this but Jesus crossed all limits.
The church and Christian
community finds it difficult to question the stand of the Pharisees. So much
that the youngsters are even advised by not just the family but also the priest
that they should not bring shame to the family and community. I wonder why priests
don’t read this passage of the gospel and why even now youngsters are looked
upon with suspicion in the community and church. What is wrong if someone
follows their heart, decides to go for a work they like or loves someone from a
different community or caste? What shame will that bring to the community and what
shame do we have which even our Lord Jesus did not have.
Those who bring shame to
the community and family are also not welcomed back home and are seen as the
prodigal son and daughter. Even though the bible story has the father welcoming
back the son, despite the reservations of the elder son, this does not happen
often in Christian families. Many people who make a decision at some point of time
in their life, may want to reconsider later. But their family refuses to accept
them and this leads to them remaining outside the fold.
Even the Indian parliament
has this habit of saying “Shame, shame”, when one political party or the other
does something which is not acceptable to the other. Such immature reactions
are unfortunately still followed. When the entire society does such things, the
Christian community should differ during lent and question the entire concept
of shame. As Jesus dined with the tax collectors and sinners, our youngsters
and others have the freedom to do what they want. They should witness to Christ
and not to our family, community and tradition. Amen.
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