Lent Day 27: House wives are not free helps

Women’s Day is celebrated today in many parts of the world and it is a time to recognise the hard work of women in our society, community and family. One day does not suggest that we should not recognise women on other days. Flimsy arguments that Men’s day is not celebrated also cannot hold ground. As far as the church is concerned it is a day to look at how the church has failed women. How it has not recognised women, given them their due in church and how they are devalued, insulted and made fun of inside churches. Churches have to take responsibility for the way women have been treated in society and lent is a time to repent for the shortcomings committed. 

In St. Luke 17: 7-10, Jesus makes reference to servants and how they are expected to do their work without expecting rewards, as it is after all their job and responsibility. The passage can be misinterpreted to mean that the social order of owners and servants can be maintained and continued because Jesus gives his agreement. But it can also be interpreted in the right way to suggest that Jesus means that all of us are servants of the Lord and the work we do is our responsibility. Jesus calls us to be faithful and sincere in our work and not to expect rewards while doing them because then God’s reward will not be ours. So instead of thinking that Jesus supports the oppressor, one should see it as how Jesus acknowledges the oppressed. 

Women do so many chores in the house. Society sees it as an expectation that they have to fulfil. Those not working and those working are expected to do house work. This is work which is not paid for, thanked, and even acknowledged. It is free work and it is expected of women. Men rarely contribute and when they do, the others join hands to discredit them. This expectation is a great burden on women and those who don’t take up work are dependent on their husband for money for their own needs and for needs of the house. Men usually keep accounts of the money they give to their wife or mother but never keep accounts of the work done and the sacrifices made. 

Jesus talks of a recognition and not omission of those working. They are seen as God’s workers who will be honoured and rewarded. They are also seen as faithful and praise worthy. A seat of honour is given to them and recognition is also theirs. Jesus’ use of the parable or example is to talk about those who serve God without expecting anything in return and for them rewards are already assured. 

Women working at home should be recognised for the work they do. There is no need for them to bow their heads when they say they are taking care of things at home. Rather, the home is running and the family is in order only because of them. The marriage, the family, the children are all being run by this one woman at home. She has the right to the entire income of the house and she has to decide how the money needs to be spent. That she does not seek her rights and her money is because of her decency and her commitment to the relationship and family. 

Men have to try and run a house. It is a mix of several jobs put together. It starts early in the morning and goes on till midnight. The house comes to a stand still without the woman of the house and everyone takes her role for granted. Men will find it difficult to do this even for a week forget a month. But then they will be asking for their reward and for recognition. That is when Jesus comes in and says that this work is one which gets no recognition. He of course does not mean it to discredit anyone. 

This women’s day, it is necessary for men, the society and church to understand the struggles of women. And the house is one of the spaces of immense struggles. Women need to be honoured, respected and rewarded for their work. This is only in a worldly manner. Spiritually, there is no doubt that women will be rewarded for their hard work and sacrifices. Happy women’s day. Amen.

Lent Day 26: Welcome back dear prodigals

We love to talk in terms of binaries and like the ‘us’ and ‘them’ usage in society, community and church. That is how we also come to usages like prodigal, the one who has gone astray and the like. Even though one of the meanings is reckless, I think it also means the one who has thought differently and done things which have ruffled quite a few feathers in the family and community. Another usage could also be the odd one out. Prodigals need not always be the one who has committed a mistake, but the one who has chosen to take a risk and stand against the usual doings of society. 

Latest interpretations do choose to use different usages than prodigal son. A younger son, the returning son, the different son. Repentance is a key element in the story in St. Luke 15. But this can also be seen differently. Even though the son appears to have repented the response of the Father is not suspicious and judgmental but welcoming. In verse 20 we read, “But while he was still at a distance, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.” 

Every house and community has a so called prodigal son or daughter. Someone who has decided to chase their dream, do things differently and show courage in treading into unknown territories. They have perhaps upset others, made people talk about them and even create stories about them and chosen to go against the established values of the family and community. We should be careful when we say that the younger son repented and came back. It does not mean that he feels that everything he did was wrong, his family was always right and so he is now at the mercy of his father and family. 

It can mean that everyone appreciates support for chasing their dream. Some things can go wrong in between as they can for anyone and anything. But then trying again is no harm and accomplishing dreams also means failing many times before being successful. The younger son had failed but that does not mean that he was completely wrong and had given up. He comes back to be in the comfort of and to get the support of his father and family. 

We need to do the same with our children. They should be given the freedom to dream, to differ and to go their way. Differing is not a crime and not the end of the road. Rather, it is a right that everyone has. It does not suggest a cutting of ties and a negation of family. The Supreme Court in India today, in one of its judgments said that everyone has a right to dissent and every criticism is not an offence. 

Many have left the church citing differences, disagreements and conflicts. But they would also like to come back to their church from where they would like care, compassion and love. We must run to welcome them like the Father welcomes the returning son. The same should be at home too. Many children have left their homes due to many reasons. Their return should be a celebration and they should be welcomed back with warmth and love. 

It is obvious that those who are here will argue that they have to be given precedence for having stayed back and showed loyalty. But that does not mean anything. If anyone stayed back, it was perhaps their inability to leave, to voice their dissent and to follow their dream. Faithfulness to a family, community or church is not through presence and obedience but through dissent and disobedience. It does not suggest mutiny but difference of opinion while maintaining the love and care for one another. This lent, let us try to welcome back those who left. Welcome them back to our heart, home, community and church. Amen.