The language of the dogs

Language is a way of expressing oneself using words and even actions. It is a cultural learning that we are put through, and eventually we will add on to our traditional learning with our own unique experiences. We have the official language that is thrust upon people and the un-official language which is a public outcry and protest. In India too we have Hindi, struggling to assert itself as the national language, English as the most used language across different states largely by default and maybe as a colonial hangover which has turned into an advantage for Indians, and many other languages hustling for space in the Indian sphere with slight similarities and differences at the same time.

There are unique and almost extinct languages which are spoken by small communities and which express meaning to specific groups while being completely strange to others. But what happens when we have classifications within a language which make it confusing to one and clear to the other? The English language despite being a colonial infusion into India, has been absorbed into the Indian fabric which has even made English dictionaries sit up and take notice and add new Indian English words to the latest versions of their dictionaries.

This difference and new way of talking the same language is not just a matter of accent and words used but the way some words are used and perceived. ‘Heh dude’ and ‘heh dog’ in the U.S. for instance would not strike a chord for a majority of Indians. This could have been one of the reasons why the Oscar winning “Slum Dog Millionaire” was seen derogatory by some in India for the use of the word dog, even though it was not meant to be derogatory.

Similarly, there will be sections of the population in India who would not battle an eyelid before saying, ‘what the f##k’, while others would find it inappropriate and in bad taste. We see here a total shift of language according to the perceived culture of a group of people. So even though we speak the same language we don’t understand one another!

This confusion in language can also be separated into a rich, fortunate group’s indulgence or the spontaneous expression of ordinary people who have made the language their own. Which is why I suspect that many heated discussions are due to small confusions. And when it is done in a small space with minimum words like on twitter, the confusion is bound to increase. Which is why it is not enough to learn a language but to learn a culture. Journalists cannot swoop down on single words but need to understand the culture setting in which it is made, thus expressing a new meaning. The language of the dogs then expresses a whole new meaning, a different culture, a whole new world, waiting to be explored.

Beware of dogs!!!

One of the greatest days of a seminary student’s life is when he (unfortunately not ‘she’ yet, in a majority of Kerala and India) gets to wear the white robe of power. The white cassock which will open doors, attract people, and be a new life in itself for the person concerned.

The new pastor/priest who gets to wear the inferred cloth of greatness, many a time gets carried away with the concept. It is used to grab power, impose rules on a hapless people and erects a human being over and above everything (the concerned bishop would of course disagree:)).

My gaze turns towards one such pastor/priest. “His wait was over. What he had prayed for, and worked for was finally his. He felt a great transformation. In his white-y white cassock (maybe bluish white, because of the special cloth whitener used for washing it) he could feel the world was now revolving around him.”

As is customary, the mighty pastor/priest took his rounds to meet his subjects. He sometimes went un-announced, sometimes called to say “I am coming”, and sometimes went as an after thought, when the sexton (church assistant/helper) told him, “That is also one of our houses.” He thus “came, saw and conquered.”

What according to the pastor/priest was a very successful campaign so far then took him to a huge house with a huger gate. On it was a board, “Beware of dogs.” The sexton was sceptical but the pastor/priest would have nothing of it. “I have conquered the seven seas, all the people have bowed before my power, what is a dog going to do?!!”

Saying this he marched into the compound. There was silence and then………Aiyo..aiyo..aiyo (a Malayalam usage suggesting “Oh my”, or an alarm call). The pastor/priest, followed by the sexton, were running back towards the gate, the pastor/priest holding up his cassock and the sexton with his ‘mundu’ (dhoti)folded up. Following them with loud barks was a full grown Doberman, with its teeth exposed in full ferocity.

In one act of aggression, albeit not planned, the pastor/priest was brought back to earth from his heavenly existence. In one moment he understood that a cassock does not give one indemnity from all things in the world. An animal thus taught the pastor/priest what no human ever imagined to do……………………………………………… (Background score………. “Who let the dog/s out….woof… woof.. woof..woof.”)


(This is neither purely fiction nor purely reality. The young pastor/priest could be "me"......or "you.")