My verdict on Ayodhya

Who wants blood in the land of the holy rivers?
Who wants to kill in the land of non-violence?
Who wants to destruct in the land of creation?

The Allahabad high court in a few minutes is going to deliver the judgement in the Ramjanmabhoomi- Babri Masjid title suit. Thousands of police and para-military personnel have taken position in several parts of Uttar Pradesh sensing trouble after the judgement is delivered. After last minute efforts to scuttle the judgement were denied by the Supreme Court, all eyes are on the court premises of the Lucknow bench of the Allahabad High Court.

Both Hindus and Muslims are saying that they will accept the judgement. Many Indians across religious and cultural divides are saying that India has moved on since 1992. There is a sense of positive energy this time around. But the government is not taking any chances.

There is still a fear going through several minds of what could happen. The same fear which has lead to the tensions between two religious communities in India. The same fear which make us wall ourselves away from others. The fear that prevents us from sharing our public places of worship and laying claim to each others worship places. Being a Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Christian, I am in no way preaching to others, as I am also guilty of this same fear that my worship place is going to be taken over by someone else. I live in this fear that someone is going to take away something which belongs to me. My attachment to physical spaces is making me crazy and fundamentalist. I have turned into a warrior for Christ, guarding my church from others. But did Jesus ever think of physical wealth and spaces? My fear thus turns to shame. Shame on what I have become. A selfish, fearful and violent soul!

I understand to an extent what the two communities in Ayodhya are going through. I am going through the same. All I can say is that we have to work together towards peace in this country. I can never continue with my distanced criticism and ten point proposal for peace because I am part of the problem as much as everyone else in India is. Let us pray for peace to be expressed from all our hearts. My verdict thus, is a verdict and a plea for peace.

Watch the door sign…Please do not disturb???

All of us value our privacy and the quality time we get to spend with our families. Many would silently wish for a sign on their door which says ‘do not disturb.’ Nothing wrong with that I guess. After all we are all working on tight schedules aren’t we? I won’t move to question this but would rather look at the word disturb.

In a culture where we are expected to be near to perfect, being disturbed and not-too-perfect then is not acceptable (to whom is another question!!!). I have distinct memories of being castigated and asked to ‘gather up my act’ and ‘get on with it.’ This state of life underwent a change when a teacher of theology once told me that it is okay to be disturbed as it means that we still have a heart inside us which reacts to what we hear and see. The teacher said that it is thus perfectly normal to ‘feel like shit’, to ‘be ashamed of oneself’, ‘to cry’, as it reflects the humanness inside us coming to terms with what is happening.

The other day I happened to watch a Hindi movie ‘Bombay’, on T.V. It was not planned, an accident I would say. The initial part of watching was nostalgic because I remembered the first time I watched the movie in a theatre when I was in college. But the nostalgia was immediately replaced by a deep and profound grief in what I saw. The violence and death in Mumbai after the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992 disturbed me no end. I felt overwhelmed and sat in my seat not knowing how to react to what I was watching. I was crying inside but the ‘please do not disturb’ attitude froze the tears as they came out.

We have to come to terms with the word ‘disturb.’ Is it okay to be disturbed? Does disturbance lead to something? Should we ignore the disturbing things in our country and hope it will go away? Is education disturbing one’s state of mind or conforming to established and traditional understandings?