Lent Day 44: We do not know

In India, elders and teachers are supposed to know everything. Whether it is their field, their area of interest or what they have been exposed to, there is an expectation that they will able to answer every question. So much that, mistakes can be made while the pressure to perform is high. Sometimes, the position of authority is maintained and held on to by such claims to know everything. Scholarship and authority are sadly seen in this way.

But Jesus did not give false claims. Neither did he claim to know everything. He spoke regarding what he had come to do. He was well versed in scripture and the way it was to be performed. Still, he was questioned because of his lack of education.

As part of discrediting Jesus, he was always asked questions. His answers were smart and effective. He did not want to appear smart but wanted to say the truth and be compassionate to the people. Many went back to their homes saying that Jesus spoke like a well learned man. But that didn’t seem to be his intention. He wanted people to know the truth and know his Father through him.

In St. Matthew 21: 23, the chief priests and elders ask him a question about his authority to teach and who gave him this authority. Jesus is very careful with his answer and his answer is in the form of a question. He asks about the baptism of John the Baptist. The chief priests and elders who usually have the answers to every question, are caught on the wrong foot. They realise that they will be embarrassed, whichever way they answer.

They think about it and then say in verse 27, “We do not know.” Perhaps this is the smartest thing that they ever said till then. They thought about the question and realised that it was much beyond them. Instead of saying something, they admit that they do not know the answer. Lent is a time for us to do just this. Saying that we do not know is a humbling process, a cleansing process, a learning process and an accepting process. When the parent says this to the child, when the husband says this to the wife, when the teacher says this to the student and when the priest says this to the congregation, it is not humiliation, but an inward understanding, knowing and embracing. This lent, shall we also have the strength to understand questions, to say no and in the process to be led to light ourselves.

Watch the door sign…Please do not disturb???

All of us value our privacy and the quality time we get to spend with our families. Many would silently wish for a sign on their door which says ‘do not disturb.’ Nothing wrong with that I guess. After all we are all working on tight schedules aren’t we? I won’t move to question this but would rather look at the word disturb.

In a culture where we are expected to be near to perfect, being disturbed and not-too-perfect then is not acceptable (to whom is another question!!!). I have distinct memories of being castigated and asked to ‘gather up my act’ and ‘get on with it.’ This state of life underwent a change when a teacher of theology once told me that it is okay to be disturbed as it means that we still have a heart inside us which reacts to what we hear and see. The teacher said that it is thus perfectly normal to ‘feel like shit’, to ‘be ashamed of oneself’, ‘to cry’, as it reflects the humanness inside us coming to terms with what is happening.

The other day I happened to watch a Hindi movie ‘Bombay’, on T.V. It was not planned, an accident I would say. The initial part of watching was nostalgic because I remembered the first time I watched the movie in a theatre when I was in college. But the nostalgia was immediately replaced by a deep and profound grief in what I saw. The violence and death in Mumbai after the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992 disturbed me no end. I felt overwhelmed and sat in my seat not knowing how to react to what I was watching. I was crying inside but the ‘please do not disturb’ attitude froze the tears as they came out.

We have to come to terms with the word ‘disturb.’ Is it okay to be disturbed? Does disturbance lead to something? Should we ignore the disturbing things in our country and hope it will go away? Is education disturbing one’s state of mind or conforming to established and traditional understandings?