Lent Day 13: Jesus’ cheeky gospel

Today’s thought continues with the other teachings of Jesus to stay away from power, money and authority. In St. Matthew 5: 38-39 he goes a step further by saying, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. But I say to you, do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Could it be true that Jesus tries to steer clear from the Old Testament teaching that one has to hit back, an eye for an eye!? Or is he trying to be funny, sarcastic or subtly question the hopeless system which can never offer justice to anyone?

Even though it is so difficult to comprehend, Jesus means exactly what he says. Perhaps it is even more difficult to listen to this than the other teachings. How on earth can we forgive our enemy and allow them to hurt us repeatedly, with no reaction from our side? Jesus is trying something intense here and challenging us to observe a lent, which is much beyond diet restrictions. We can restrict and even go without food but forgetting the hurt and abuse of an enemy is next to impossible. And yet we are called to do just that.

We are asked to not react. There are times when we also realise that a problem can be solved if we don’t react, if we take a walk, if we remain silent and if we choose to become strong by appearing weak. Showing our other cheek also allows us to think, to analyse, to weigh the situation and to decide whether a reaction is worth it. There is a call to give. But give not to our family, church or community but to someone who is our enemy and works against us.

This is another characteristic of a Christian which unfortunately does not exist much anymore. Was Jesus just trying to be different, unique and shocking or did he have a method behind this madness. A ritualistic way of giving hands and seeking reconciliation would be for one person to say, “Forgive me a sinner” and for the other to reply, “God forgives and so do I.” The people then switch sides and say the opposite as well. When someone seeks forgiveness, it is for some wrong that they have already committed. Our response would be “God forgives and so do I.” We would ideally not hit the person and then say, “I forgive you.”

During lent, our effort for reconciliation can only have the reply which God suggests. It is to show our other cheek. Showing our other cheek does not only suggest to be hit on that too, but to have a cheek to cheek show of reconciliation and love. Jesus is suggesting a natural Christ like or Christian response to hatred and conflict. Our response should always be towards reconciliation and not revenge. It does not matter what another person does. Our only response is forgiveness and reconciliation.

This lent, let us challenge ourselves to say “I forgive you and I love you” to someone who has hurt us. This is exactly what Jesus does when we hurt him. He shows his other cheek, to love, to accept and to care. The crowds flocked to see Jesus exactly because of this. May we also get this craziness and cheekiness to confuse and distract people so much that they respond positively to our overtures of friendship and love. Amen.

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Prayer to overcome wrongdoing

We commit ourselves God before you and offer ourselves for contemplation and correction. We look back at our life and seek your wisdom to understand and accept acts of hurt, misunderstanding, anger, hatred and high handedness that have come out of us. We seek forgiveness from you for every short coming and every insensitive remark or attitude that has slipped out from us. What has come out cannot be taken back but we can seek your forgiveness God to correct ourselves and learn to become better people. Help us to understand Jesus how we can look at the needs of people and give importance to them rather than to ourselves. Give us strength Holy Spirit to overcome our ego which is continuously tempting us to do evil and bad things. As we fold our hands God and pray, may it be a folding of our ego and our soul in commitment towards good and nice things. Amen.

Prayer to forgive others

Help me forgive those who have hurt me God. Maybe they had a reason, or it amused them, maybe they wanted me to learn something or they wanted me to hurt and rot. Whatever the reason, help me to breathe in the Holy Spirit and say “I forgive you.” Help me Jesus to forget the hurt, and work towards my own health and soul. Inspire me to be positive and identify the numerous opportunities that present themselves before me. Holy Spirit, come and fill inside me with thoughts that ignore unpleasant and harsh people and their harsher comments and concentrate on those who appreciate my company and help. This evening may all bad thoughts and energy move away and may I and my family and friends be filled with the spirit of joy, happiness and warmth. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Make lent a pleasant experience

Church members differ in the way they observe lent. Some follow all the diet restrictions, some a few and some none at all. The prayers also follow the same route. But the question is who is the good lenter? The one who follows all diet restrictions and says all the prayers or the one who doesn’t see things as diet restrictions but as a way to share what is there with others and who is pleasant and happy while observing a lent?

This brings us to one of the important and yet often ignored aspects of lent. Jesus is clear when he says how fasting should be observed and how one should look while observing a fast. In Mathew 6:16-18 he says “And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward.  But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face,  so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” It is not to show others but to show our God in private as to how we are conducting our lives. Our fasts and lents look forced upon us and mostly everyone looks like they have a heavy burden upon them which they are struggling to carry and finally do so because they are forced to.

This is why the Lenten season is not a pleasant experience in many of our households. It is a time when children remember that not only do they not get fish and meat during lunch and dinner, but their father and mother put on tantrums and let loose their tempers because they are being forced to fast and lent. Their face shows they are not happy and in the process they also don’t make others around them happy. There is also the habit of people which makes them think that if they have to fast and lent, then the entire family has to do it, whether they do it willingly or not.  This makes revisiting lent every year a terrible experience because children and youngsters don’t have anything nice which they can associate with lent. It makes us a community which is very bitter with lent and with God who we think makes us undergo lent. This is reflected in how people look while they are observing a lent. It also appears to friends, colleagues and family that people who are on lent are moody and angry. So our lent appears to others as having the contrary effect to what lent is intended for.

This is why we must make add ons to substantiate the usual lent because our way of observing it makes others wonder why we observe lent in the first place! What could be some of the simple and yet essentials things we could do so that others will look forward to us observing the great lent every year?

1. Smile at those around you- a simple smile can put others at ease and suggest that we are in a good mood as well. Imagine how it would be if we maintain a grim face and say that we are on lent? Psalm 126:2 says “Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.” Smiling at those around us and looking confident is a way of showing others that the lent is doing great things for us and it is not weakening us but strengthening us from within.

2. Spend time with your family- one thing that comes out frequently in families is when the husband and wife who are also the father and the mother will tell each other and their child/children “Please try and understand. I have lots of work to finish.” Lent should be a time when we are with our family. We can cut down or cut out T.V., the internet, social media and work brought home and spend quality time with our family and even friends. Imagine how the children will feel if that happens. They will look forward to every lent because they know their parents will be finally available for them. They will glorify God for times like lent. We can cut out and slow down to ensure that we have more time for our family. At these times our diet will not be a concern because we will have people who matter around us and they will fill our stomach with their presence. 1 Timothy 5:8 says “And whoever does not provide for relatives, and especially for family members, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Observing lent does not mean cutting away from family and friends but rather making time for them in an otherwise stressful life.

3. Forgive others and seek forgiveness-  Matthew 5:23 and 24 says “So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you,  leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” Having something against someone is like having a mill stone around our neck. We won’t be able to pray when we are thinking about someone who we term as an enemy. It also becomes an additional baggage to carry and we won’t be able to observe lent when this additional baggage is there. Reconciliation is a must and without this lent is of no use. Lent without reconciliation is a way of lying to ourselves that all is well when nothing actually is. Lent minus reconciliation will be a way of justifying not reconciling with someone. It is because the lent will be seen as purifying the person who is observing the lent and demonizing the person with whom reconciliation is not sought. This is a wrong way to observe lent as it justifies our position and takes away the sheen of lent. We must ask forgiveness if we have done something against someone and we must be ready to forgive someone who we feel has done something against us.

4. Concentrate on your lent instead of preaching to others about their lent- there is a tendency in households to advise others about lent and how it should be done. All the while the person preaching is not trying to observe a meaningful lent by himself/herself. This suggests a very sadistic approach from our part. Fasting and lent should never be imposed on someone. It should come from within and we can inspire people to lent but not force them to! Many a time we are bothered about what others are doing instead of concentrating on our own lent. Lent should not be seen as making us holier than others and thereby seating ourselves on a pedestal. Rather lent should be seen as a time when we work on our faults and short comings. We must at all times during lent prevent ourselves from judging others as that will lead to a meaningless exercise of fasting and lent. Instead we should at all times concentrate on our short comings. In many houses the elderly and parents get into arguments with children and youngsters saying that the entire house will be on lent and the head of the house has decided that. What would be more appropriate is to show others the change in us by observing lent. Isaiah 58:3-7 says “Why do we fast, but you do not see? Why humble ourselves, but you do not notice?” Look, you serve your own interest on your fast day, and oppress all your workers. Look, you fast only to quarrel and to fight and to strike with a wicked fist. Such fasting as you do today will not make your voice heard on high. Is such the fast that I choose, a day to humble oneself? Is it to bow down the head like a bulrush, and to lie in sackcloth and ashes? Will you call this a fast, a day acceptable to the Lord?  Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?  Is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin?”

5. Improve on the Lenten experience- there should be a meaningful reason for everyone to be part of lent. For some eating vegetarian food is not a struggle. For others not eating at all is no big deal as they don’t eat when they work anyway. In such cases there should be more acts of lent which should be practiced. These include abstaining from social media, cutting down smart phone usage, not watching television, doing a carbon fast (which means not using vehicles which emit carbon and thereby contributing to a clean environment), carbohydrate fast, keeping silent and meditating on our life and those around us, calling up friends and family we never usually speak to and keeping in touch with people, asking friends and family whether they need any help in paying bills, getting a government job done for an elderly couple, help with tuition, asking for prayer requests that one can pray over and cutting down on anything that we perceive as harming us. Drinking too much will only weaken us and doing drugs will only confuse us. When we want to strengthen the lent experience we should also stop things which weaken our body and which will ultimately prevent us from doing good. In Matthew 4 Jesus fasts 40 days and he is tempted by the devil. The devil does not talk about small things but about power. The devil tests the standing and power of Jesus by asking him to turn the stones to bread, asks Jesus to throw himself down from the pinnacle of the temple so that the angels can come and save him and finally the devil takes Jesus to the top of a mountain and tells him that if Jesus worships the devil, he will give him all the kingdoms of the world.

So when we lent, if people come and entice us with the promise of power and authority, it means that we are observing lent well. If on the other hand we are always judging and preaching to people about how they should observe lent, something is wrong somewhere. Jesus maintains his cool and composure even after 40 days of fasting. All he says is “Away with you Satan”. He does not talk about his own fasting and does not enter into an argument. He knows that several people are counting on him and so he disassociates himself from power and authority which is on offer to him. This should be the power of lent. To say no and to say it strongly. To know that many people depend on us reforming ourselves. And to lent with joy and happiness never for a moment thinking it is a burden but using that as a way of letting go of all burdens.

Be human and forgive for a true Lenten experience

Forgiveness is a critical part of our spirituality which we are not able to control and use properly. The reason for this is that we are filled with expectations of what we want from various people around us. The closer people are, the more are our expectations. We also give to others expecting something in return. Lent cannot be a time when we lent ourselves to get something in return. It is a process of self-examination and self-cleansing whereby we let go of our expectations and are willing to forgive seventy-seven times or seventy times seven, meaning as many times as needed, almost till our expectations are extinguished.

In St. Matthew 18:21-22 Peter wants to know the rule to be followed. Jesus gives him the sense to be undertaken. Lent for us becomes a 50 day routine where we would like to fulfill certain prayer timings, diet restrictions and feel we have fulfilled something by doing this. Seldom do we realize and are willing to accept that lent is a big teacher of how we should conduct ourselves not just for 50 days but the rest of our lives. Peter wanted to be absolved and wanted to know that he was doing the right thing. Jesus puts up a new challenge in front of him and reminds him of the journey he has to undertake in all probability till death.

Forgiveness has to come from top to bottom and cannot be expected bottom to top. The one who wants authority, position and a place of honour has to go through the process of forgiving wholeheartedly and continually. So much that forgiveness will become part of one’s life and a natural reaction to what someone does to us. We are always trying to teach a lesson to someone and forget that lent is a time to teach ourselves first. We are not teachers who are supposed to punish and change someone but learners who are supposed to forgive and change ourselves. Perhaps what Jesus said to Peter is very important considering Peter was going to take up leadership in the church. This leadership according to Jesus could not be taken forward with rules but had to break the rules!

In today’s life forgiveness is one of the most difficult things for the clergy and laity alike. We simple refuse to forgive, and behave with others keeping something in mind well into the lent and well after it. Confessions are often filled with the disability to forgive and the final acceptance that “after all I am a human being!” Jesus becoming human for the sake of humanity shows us what a human being is capable of doing. Even as Jesus was human and divine at the same time, he suffered on the cross and felt the pain. He did not use his divinity to escape from or move beyond the pain. The “after all I am a human being” comment does not give us an excuse but rather puts a responsibility on us. Jesus reminding Peter is Jesus reminding us today that if we would like to develop, move forward and take over leadership roles, we have to claim the fact that we are humans and we are capable of forgiving instead of saying after all I (we) am a human being!

This lent it would be meaningful to try and write to people, talk to them over the phone, meet them, or even do something symbolic to suggest to them that we are indeed sorry for anything that we have knowingly or unknowingly done to them and reach out to those who are trying to say sorry to us and tell them that we forgive them for whatever misunderstanding has happened. This is not an act of meekness but an act of courage where we are willing to accept the power of humanity reignited in us by Christ Jesus. Jesus answers Peter and Jesus answers our lent today by telling us to forget and forgive. We are human and we are capable of forgiving. Amen.




Picture 1 courtesy www.rejuvenatingwomen.com
Picture 2 courtesy www.psychologytoday.com