Shall we try an anger fast this lent?

Lent helps to cleanse our soul and make us better people. But when people talk of the struggles that they face in life, anger is one of the top most things that come out. There are many people who say that he/she is a good person but can’t control their anger. It is interesting to note that many people who have diet restrictions and fasting end up being angrier than others. It could also be due to the frustration of not being able to eat properly or even the fluctuation of blood sugar levels. Whatever it is, anger in men and women becomes one significant thing that people can change during lent but it is easier said than done. It should also be noted that channelizing anger rather than completely doing away with anger perhaps is a better model. Can an anger fast then be a meaningful fast for us during lent?

Whichever ladder of the hierarchy we belong to, anger should not be a part of our repertoire. A priest should not get angry at his congregation, a father and mother at their child/children, siblings to one another, friend to another friend and colleague to colleague. There is no justification for anger as it is unsettling for our body and soul. Thomas Aquinas wrote that anger can become a mortal sin if “through the fierceness” of the anger a person “falls away from the love of God and his neighbor.” Getting angry at someone is not a solution to a problem and neither can it be justified citing seniority and more experience. The more one has seen the world, the more one should be able to channelize one’s anger as we can’t justify getting angry at God’s creation because it is like getting angry with God.

Ephesians 4:26 says “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Our fasting and lent should teach us and reform us to deal with our anger. Some of us fast till noon, some afternoon and some evening. But what use will it be if we can’t channelize our anger properly? We justify anger because we do not see it as part of morality and morality is what concerns us the most than anything else. James 1:19-20 says “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” We jump at something we hear and don’t even think for a moment or say a small prayer. It is the spur of the moment and then we can’t take back what we said.

Anger mostly only instills fear in others and we are not justified in instilling fear in others as that would lead to forcing people into things. Nothing forced will last in life. We sometimes get angry at one word or one action. Proper prayer will give us the strength to be patient and understanding. One explanation of diet restriction for lent is that ordinary food makes us calm and patient. But this may not be the case always because people can be bitter with the fact that they are on a lent or that they are doing this for someone. This may not help. Anger will not get us anywhere. Matthew 5:22 says “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment…” Lent is a hope for a better tomorrow. By getting angry and judging others we are falling into judgment ourselves. This does not in any way fulfill the reason for lent. The Psalmist puts it more directly in Psalm 37:8-9, “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret- it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”

Aristotle said something very thought provoking and it is “To become angry is easy. To be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy.” Even when we say that lent is a good time to do away with anger or channelize anger properly there are two things that should qualify that. In a house it could mean that the wife can never get angry because she will have the burden of being patient and keeping quiet to prevent a tensed situation. This may lead to the explanation by a husband that his wife did not allow him to observe a true lent because she did not understand his anger and keep quiet and instead got angry herself leading to a reaction from him. Anger sometimes has to be talked out between family and friends as otherwise it will come out at an unexpected time. This is a danger that we ignore. Husband and wife or partners should use lent as a time to talk about frustrations, dreams, unaccomplished things, misunderstandings and plans. This will become properly channelized anger as the anger inside will come out instead of being suppressed.

The second thing is righteous anger which is often quoted by many in church as a justification to get angry. Michael Perrott talks of Jesus getting angry at the temple. This is seen in three gospels in Matthew 21, Mark 11 and John 2. By and large I have seen this as a passage used by church leaders to justify getting angry in church and in certain cases refusing to reconcile. But Perrott has a different explanation of the righteous anger of Jesus. He says that the shops and the money exchange happened in the place which was for the gentiles. All this activity denied them an opportunity to worship in a certain section of the temple. So it was not only that they were confined to a certain section but that even that was taken over by commercial interests. This was when Jesus got very angry. I look back at the three years of pastoral ministry in my latest church. I have got angry very few times. But once I had an outburst and everyone in church was surprised. It was because there was talk of pushing a family out of church for a flimsy reason. I can understand how Jesus would have felt when certain people were denied an opportunity to worship God.

So channelizing our anger and expressing righteous anger for the right reasons are how we qualify not getting angry. But otherwise anger will not get us anywhere and we will only drown in our own anger. Lent is an excellent opportunity to reform ourselves from being angry people to channelizing our anger and expressing rightful and righteous anger like Jesus did, for the people of God. May we be able to deal with our anger pangs and anger issues this lent. Let us try an anger fast where we consciously tell ourselves that we won’t get angry with anyone unless we are talking for God's people and not just ourselves. Amen.

Nineveh lent: Let the anger go!

Lent is a perfect time for us to realise that there is immense anger inside us. Many a time anger is left to fend for itself, while we pray against enemies and wish for their downfall. Maybe a part of the anger is making us do what we do in the form of praying against enemies even though the gospel does not have the concept of enemies as everyone some day or the other will be open to the salvation presented by Christ Jesus.

Jonah refuses to go to Nineveh because he can’t deal with the anger he has against the people of Nineveh. And yet part of the same anger makes him go in another direction hoping that something bad will happen to the people of Nineveh. It is misplaced anger and unjustified anger. When God God’s self does not anger against the people of Nineveh, Jonah feels otherwise.

The three days and nights Jonah gets to spend in the stomach of the big fish is a time to deal with his anger. It was a time when he was alone and could think about what he should do. It was also a time when he truly called out to God. The time in the stomach of the fish keeps him thus because of the vulnerability he is in. This again changes when he is out of the fish and is angry that the people of Nineveh change and follow God. His anger is further expressed on the shade in the form of a bush which withers away. He tells God that he is angry enough to die. He is sad that the people of Nineveh don’t get to die too.

The book of Jonah reminds us that God is not a vengeful God. God does not want to kill to prove a point. Rather God wants to save at all times. He reasons with Jonah that if Jonah is concerned about the bush he did not toil for, should not God be concerned for the people of Nineveh. It is a reminder for all of us that the Nineveh lent is a time to deal with our anger and let it go rather than keep it burning inside us.

Yesterday I got an e mail from someone I do not want to name. The person wrote the following with the following pictures.St. Mark 13:1-2 was first quoted in which it says “As he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, “Look, Teacher, what large stones and what large buildings!” Then Jesus asked him, “Do you see these great buildings? Not one stone will be left here upon another; all will be thrown down.” Then the e mail went on to say “Kindly see the below pictures of Syriac (Jacobite) Churches destroyed in Syria. Isn't this also a curse from the Lord for creating schism in the Holy Orthodox Church in India by creating a rival Catholicate?” The pictures are supposed to be of churches destroyed in Syria.

The first reaction I had to seeing this was that of deep pain and anger. Pain of seeing the pictures of how sisters and brothers in Syria have suffered during the still continuing civil war, and anger that people in the church in India (whichever denomination) could even think that this is a punishment from God. The anger inside me was similar to the anger Jonah felt. It was an anger which made me sick to write and say anything. I had to deal with it and let it go. My post is one way of doing this.

I am not getting into who sent this and what kind of theological understanding about God they have. What concerns me is that anger makes us do insane things to the point of using disasters, wars and violence to say that God does all of this. The book of Jonah portrays a God who is slow to anger and who is full of patience and wants to save his people at any cost. This despite the fact that they were even worshipping other Gods. God's concern is that every single living organism should live because God created it. Jonah's anger wants annihilation while God tries to tell Jonah to deal with his anger and let it go.

The three day and night solitude in the belly of the fish is his first opportunity to deal with his anger. This tones him down a bit. But it continues despite this. After prophesying to the people of Nineveh he then again tries hard to deal with his anger. So much that if not the people of Nineveh, he wants God to take 'his' life. But time and again God tells him using the bush as an example that God cannot imagine doing something like that.

The Nineveh lent is a time for all of us to deal with our anger. This could be anger because of our spouse, child/children, colleagues, bosses, leaders, and even caused by church feuds and quarrels. As long as it is inside, it will come out in some form or the other. In some cases it will come out in installments. What is inside has to be dealt with and we have to use various ways to do this. Lent becomes an opportunity for all to deal with our anger through prayer and meditation. It is an experience whereby we isolate ourselves and think whether what we are doing is correct or not. The lent in Nineveh was for a common cause and everyone participated in it. It was not to take away life but to save life.

Church fathers have their own take on this. "A wandering mind is made stable by reading, vigil and prayer. Flaming lust is extinguished by hunger, labor and solitude. Stirrings of anger are calmed by psalmody, magnanimity and mercifulness. All this has its effect when used at its proper time and in due measure. Everything untimely or without proper measure is short-lived; and short-lived things and more harmful than useful." Abba Evagrius the Monk(Texts on Active Life no. 6). Further St. John Chrysostom says "For nothing is more grievous than wrath and fierce anger. This renders men both puffed up and servile, by the former making them ridiculous, by the other hateful; and bringing in opposite vices, pride and flattery, at the same time. But if we will cut off the greediness of this passion, we shall be both lowly with exactness, and exalted with safety. For in our bodies too all distempers arise from excess; and when the elements thereof leave their proper limits, and go on beyond moderation, then all these countless diseases are generated, and grievous kinds of death. Somewhat of the same kind one may see take place with respect to the soul likewise." St. John Chrysostom (Homilies on the Gospel of Matthew.)

Fr. George Morelli points out the "beast of anger" and quotes seven cognitive distortions relating to anger.

1. "Selective Abstraction is focusing on one event to the exclusion of others. A mother , for example, pays attention to the "D" on her son's report card while ignoring the "A's" and "B's." This "D" now becomes the focus of anger.
2. Arbitrary Inference is drawing a conclusion unwarranted by the facts in an ambiguous situation. For example, a parishioner says "Hello" to the Parish Priest in the Church Hall, the Priest doesn't reply, the person concludes the Priest doesn't like him or her and has a right to be angry.
3. Personalization, an event occurs that an individual concludes is directed to them personally. A patron in a busy restaurant perceives the waiter is purposely not waiting on his or her table. The patron never entertains the waiter may be under stress attempting to serve other patron's needs. The patron, concludes, they have a 'right' to be angry.
4. Polarization is the tendency to see things in all or nothing terms. 'Cynthia, Jack's wife misses making dinner one evening, because he 'categorizes' events into polarities he views her as a "bad" wife. All the categories between the absolute categories of good and bad are missed. He has the right to be angry at a "bad" wife.
5. Generalization is the tendency to see things in always or never categories. 'Jack' comes home late from work. His wife 'Jill' feels her husband will always be inconsiderate and never change. Not only is she angry at his lateness, but his future lateness as well.
6. Demanding Expectations, the belief that there are laws or rules that must or have to be obeyed. A mother believes her son should not talk back because she is his "mother." She has the "right" to be angry. (Note God gave us free will, He 'asks' us to obey His commandments. Like Christ, parents can 'prefer and constructively work' toward obedience from their children, but they have no guarantees their children will respect them.) Of spiritual help here is to reflect on the life of Our Lord. He was bruised, derided, cursed, defiled, crucified and died for our salvation. He Himself told us: No servant is greater than his master (Mat. 10:24) ---why would we expect to be treated any differently than Our Lord. It is a blessing if we are treated and honored, but we have no guarantee) A program of rewards for appropriate behavior and punishment, without anger, for inappropriate behavior would be constructive.
7. Catastrophizing, the perception that something is more that 100% bad, terrible or awful In the example above, the mother feels that it is terrible, the end of the world, her son answered back, which of course triggers increasing anger."

There are several ways to manage your anger. Lent can be used as one such way to know that we can never wish bad about someone. Rather it becomes a time when we deal with our issues and work for the benefit of others. In the process I watch the pictures again and know that my sisters and brothers in Syria are walking the talk and living in the true path of Christ while I do not experience even a small part of the struggle they are going through. This lent, I try to be with them. If as the e mail suggests, God has cursed and punished them, I urge the God mentioned in the e mail to curse and punish me too.