Fish in peace, Professor Lloyd

I first met Lloyd Nehemiah in 1997. I was a BD student in UTC, Bangalore and Lloyd’s wife Drecie was doing her Masters in Theology. I along with many of my class mates and friends became friends with Lloyd and Drecie. They invited us home and always made us feel like family. Lloyd was one of a kind. So much that whenever I had a long enough conversation with someone, Lloyd would pop up as an interesting character that we should meet at least once in a life time. He was a wild life enthusiast with a big collection of wild life pictures collected over a number of years during countless visits to the forest, an environmentalist who planted saplings and vociferously defended trees and prevented their felling, a knife collector with over 350 knives and swords collected from several countries and states of India, a person who knew several languages including Garo his wife’s mother tongue, an enterprising person with a wide range of contacts which could make him communicate with any person in a room, a risk taker, a person who supported and encouraged women including his wife and daughters and someone who loved fishing. Many people from UTC and especially the guests from other countries including professors and exchange students would benefit from Lloyd and have the experience of their life after a trip to the forest.

Lloyd always encouraged people to do what they wanted. Drecie is a pastor of a congregation, Kitty his elder daughter is a people’s person with deep compassion and Chea his younger daughter is a national climbing champion. The grapevine about Chea was that Lloyd realised she was climbing too many walls in UTC and so channelized her energy by taking her to an artificial climbing terrain at the Kanteerava stadium and the rest is history. As Lloyd’s family, one could chase their dream and that included his extended family too.

One could call Lloyd for anything and everything. To go to a government office, to shift houses, to go for a trip and to eat out. With Lloyd we explored the small eateries of Bangalore in Shivaji Nagar, Cox Town, Mosque Road, Johnson Market and then grilled meat and fish at our houses. The street style Phal (A cross section of meat with masala fried on a tawa), the chicken momos, biriyani from the smallest of shops, and anything on a plate would be relished by Lloyd. I perhaps learnt to eat a variety of food from him. Lloyd was also on the list of the Bangalore corporation numbers which one could call for help with snakes. He would patiently catch them and release them elsewhere. It was a self-acquired skill more than anything else and I always marveled at how he learnt all this. I have also seen personally as to how he helped at funeral homes, going to help for post mortems, making sure that it was done on time and making up for anything short during the post mortems.

We all talk about education and about our alma mater with pride and thankfulness and I am no different. But I have experienced that there are many people who inspire us with their deeds and life. Lloyd has had that kind of an influence on me and on several of my friends. I perhaps learnt more about the need for trees and about caring for nature and all of God’s creation, from Lloyd than from any class room. For me he is a professor just like any of my other professors, to whom I am also thankful.

I will stop with four memories from the numerous memories I have with Lloyd and his family. They once came to Kerala for vacation. I took them to a nice restaurant in Thiruvalla. Drecie, Kitty and Chea liked the food but Lloyd was not impressed. I finally took him to a toddy shop on the Changanachery- Allepy route. I was hesitant at first but then I thought I couldn’t be less hospitable to Lloyd. He loved the food and kept talking about it the entire time. The second story is when I got my knee injured and he kept checking on me to make sure I was okay. The reason for my injury was actually the precursor of a trip to the forest and in a way Lloyd took the blame. But the twist was that the next week many people had food poisoning by eating the food from the hostel and I escaped because I didn’t have food because of my knee injury. The third memory is regarding the few tattoos that Lloyd had. We were having dinner in a house and Lloyd was talking about his tattoos with a lot of pride in the presence of a Catholic priest. He quietly listened. When he got up to leave, the priest removed his cassock and showed his body which was full of tattoos and we all burst out into laughter when he left, looking at Lloyd who had a sheepish grin on his face. The fourth memory is his own favourite story about how he and Drecie fell in love and how he went to Drecie’s village in the Garo hills in the North East part of India, learnt her language, made friends with the people there and finally got married. This at a very young age too. As a youngster I have listened to this countless times wondering how one had the courage to do all this at a time without mobile phones, email and even a proper land line and that too, him being a Mangalorean and Drecie from the Garo hills. 

Lloyd, you taught me to share from my plate. You taught me that I could take food from the plate of a dear friend and allow a friend to eat from my plate. You taught me that getting our hands dirty for someone was the biggest ministry we could do. You taught me that love has no holds and barriers. You taught me well. Thanks professor. Heaven is going to be a fun place with you reaching there. All traditions and rules will be flouted but for the right reasons. Jesus is going to be pretty happy. Fish in peace dear elder brother.

Condolences and prayers dear Drecie, Kitty, Chea, David and family, amma, Shirley and family and all near and extended family and friends. Praying that Lloyd and all of you get justice and peace.

Prayer on a worship day

Help us today God to find peace and to strengthen our souls. Teach us to gauge what we need to feel happy and satisfied. As we go to worship places and sacred spaces allow us to understand that we are all one and the same. Each and every one of us O Lord has been created by you. We cannot be different and better than the other. Loving God, help us to understand what we are supposed to do by ourselves and how we are supposed to bring a balance to the wonderful plans of growth and peace that you have for us. Today, help us to grow spiritually and feel strong from inside rather than flaunting all that we have achieved in the six days of our worldly life. This day, help us to love each other and forget about our material wealth as they are only pawns towards our need for spiritual growth. Teach us Jesus to let go of anything that prevents us from seeing God in those we come across. If anything comes in between that, let it be offered in the incense box so that, it, along with our ego may be burnt as a sacrifice and offering to you. Bless us and those who we have as your plan and as your wish. May we feel energized knowing that today we are resurrected from the ashes we offer. Like Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.

For such a time as this: Learn from women how to observe lent

One of the most significant things in the church which many a time is kept under wraps is that women in the church fast and pray more than men. Even though priests give the call to fast and lent, it is women in the church who give heed to the call more sincerely. This they do despite the usual responsibilities of house work, child rearing and jobs. It is therefore surprising that during lent we do not consider women as a model for lent.

Yesterday being International Women’s day, it was celebrated all over the world with messages praising women. What I noticed in whats app and facebook though was that these congratulatory messages were followed by messages which indirectly and directly demeaned women. It was as if to suggest that a majority of the men were just being politically correct for women’s day and they did not say it from the heart.

Religion has a lot to do with the plight of women in our society. If the religion that you and I are a part of does not respect women, then there are high chances that you and I will follow suit. That is why it is important for us to see if there is any connection between women and lent. It is because we can accept women during the entire Lenten period and continue to do that, being strengthened by the lent we observed.

Nursing mothers and women who take care of all the house hold work need more nutrition and yet they take up the burden of saving the household primarily because the good fortune of the house is linked with the woman and because by themselves they are more responsible than men when it comes to matters of the house. It is because of this that we have to take a look at women in the bible who fasted. Every lent we always hear that fasting or lent is because Jesus fasted, Moses fasted and Elijah fasted. Women never come into the picture. Why so? Lent is a God given opportunity to realise that we have knowingly and unknowingly ignored women who were, are and should be an integral part of any lent we observe.

One of the strong examples that we have is of Esther. Mordecai informs her of the impending danger and the seeming end of their community. He sends her a message that she cannot keep quiet in such a time as this. He says in Esther 4:14 “Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this.” The future of her community is on the shoulder of Esther. Mordecai knows that Esther is the last straw of hope. Now what happens to Esther is the interesting part. She does not say no or that she would think about it. In an almost transformative trance she replies to Mordecai in verse 16 “Go, gather all the Jews to be found in Susa, and hold a fast on my behalf, and neither eat nor drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will also fast as you do. After that I will go to the king, though it is against the law; and if I perish, I perish.” Ah, what a bold statement from a young woman? She chooses to be proactive in such a time as this and declares a fast for the entire community knowing the responsibility of their lives rests on her. It is also typical of men as to how Mordecai puts the responsibility on Esther even though he is the more seasoned and experienced campaigner. Esther like all women does not shrink from the responsibility but takes it on.

Esther’s fast which lasts three days is a sign for us on how to fast and lent. We must see the signs of our time and we must know the dangers lurking. When communities are in danger and when people can be killed, communities should come together in fasting and prayer. Our fasts and lent today have no consequences. But Esther’s call to fasting shows us that our fasts and lent can indeed have consequences, and good ones at that.

This lent, let us look at the fast of Esther and create our own fasts for justice and peace. When the refugee crisis and wars in the Middle East and other parts of the world rage on with no solution in sight, let us get together like Esther’s community and fast for a solution. Esther shows us the power of fasting. It has the strength to overcome evil and bring about justice. It is interesting for us after Women’s day and knowing how diligently women fast in the church, that Esther and other women like her in the bible offer us a credible model of fasting and lent. It is also important for men during lent and after women’s day to see how thinking like women can bring about a more meaningful fast and lent in which the responsibility and the future of the community become important life and death issues. Amen.

Understanding the North East: A need to take out the hot pan to stem rumours

Fortunately the fear and fleeing of people from various parts of the North East has come down in the past 24 hours. The government on its part in Karnataka has taken steps to assure the students, workers and professionals that what has happened is the work of a few rumour mongers. Sms’ from the government with this assurance of security and peace has indeed been a step in the right direction.

Bangalore in particular looks ready to handle any situation. The government is positive in its approach, the police are keeping a watch and leaders of Muslim communities are pro active in assuring North Easterners that no hate campaign is going on and are reminding those who come for prayers that this is a season of fasting and peace and no one should be swayed by any campaign whatsoever.

Individuals, groups, institutions and religious groups have all got together to say that no one should leave and those who have left should come back. One should be happy that simultaneously the media, civil society and the government have all come together to ensure peace.

But one cannot but wonder how a few rumour mongers managed to scare so many people in a matter of hours and instigated a panic situation? Will people wilt under the weight of a few sms’? Or is there something more to this? I wonder whether I would have done the same thing had there been similar rumours against my safety. Maybe I would have, as everyone has some sort of fear of their belongings and their life. But this exodus may also be the result of an insecurity felt by those from the North East in various parts of India. The lack of understanding has at least to an extend led to the ghetto-isation of certain communities. This of course is not special just to the North East community. But there has somewhere been an opportunity lost in the understanding of our sisters and brothers.

The very reference "North East people" which has been doing the rounds in all forms of the media and whenever anyone of importance has talked itself smacks indifference in the form of a lack of understanding. The population in Bangalore is a mixed bag of people from various states from the North East. They include Assam, West Bengal, Tripura, Nagaland, Mizoram, Manipur and Meghalaya to name a substantial lot. There are differences between the various states mentioned and it is unfortunate that for convenience we (including myself) bracket everyone together.

The way forward for now is dispelling any kind of rumours going around. But there is also a strong need to understand our friends from the North East, their culture and traditions. Food is one way of breaking dividing walls and frequent coming together should be encouraged to understand that India is not confined to one religion, region, caste, culture or ethnic identity. This could be a way of making everyone comfortable enough to stay, not with standing any form of rumour. The same institutions which are now playing a good role in re-assuring and offering their places to all should take the role in playing out this role as well.

Religious institutions like theological colleges have an important role to play here. These institutions are a wonderful mix of several identities coming together at the same time and under one roof. There will be several opportunities to get to know each other, taste each others food and understand one another’s culture. Such institutions along with several educational institutions and companies can take the lead to not just bring people together for study and work but also for peace in society.