Lent Day 42: A God who weeps

Our biggest friends and biggest family are those who stand by us in difficult situations. We think that we have to provide solutions at every juncture and moment, but sometimes just standing with someone is enough. In a funeral home, our presence and touch are more valuable than anything we say. God need not always be the solution giver but can also be the one who stands by us in our most difficult moment.

Leaders are usually not expected to cry. Boys and men are also not expected to cry in our culture. This reflects mental toughness and strength. But what is the need of this façade and show? When we feel for someone or something, it is but natural to cry. There is also the fake crying by leaders whereby crying is for some gain, marketing and advantage. This is rehearsed crying and is not from the heart but from the head. It also makes people emotional but one can eventually see through it.

Weeping and crying is a disruption and sometimes even a disturbance for others. But for those who are sincere, it is a faithful expression of the heart and the mind. Even praying for those who are sick and undergoing problems, can bring tears to our eyes. There are others who have wept so much that their tears have dried up. These can also be those who then decide that they don’t want to cry anymore because others have hurt them and made them cry.

Jesus wept and he wept with the family that he was close with. Lazarus is dead and he reaches only to see a weeping Martha and Mary. Both say that the death could have been avoided if Jesus was there. Jesus goes near the tomb and weeps. The Messiah, the son of God, the liberator, weeps in front of everyone. St. John 11: 35 says, “Jesus wept.” It is another thing that Jesus tells Martha in verse 23 that her brother will rise again and in verse 43 he cries with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” But the most significant thing in this narrative is that Jesus wept along with the family he loved. Our tears are as powerful as our prayers and actions. This passion week, may we join hands with our Lord and weep as he wept for the poor and suffering. Amen.

Watch the door sign…Please do not disturb???

All of us value our privacy and the quality time we get to spend with our families. Many would silently wish for a sign on their door which says ‘do not disturb.’ Nothing wrong with that I guess. After all we are all working on tight schedules aren’t we? I won’t move to question this but would rather look at the word disturb.

In a culture where we are expected to be near to perfect, being disturbed and not-too-perfect then is not acceptable (to whom is another question!!!). I have distinct memories of being castigated and asked to ‘gather up my act’ and ‘get on with it.’ This state of life underwent a change when a teacher of theology once told me that it is okay to be disturbed as it means that we still have a heart inside us which reacts to what we hear and see. The teacher said that it is thus perfectly normal to ‘feel like shit’, to ‘be ashamed of oneself’, ‘to cry’, as it reflects the humanness inside us coming to terms with what is happening.

The other day I happened to watch a Hindi movie ‘Bombay’, on T.V. It was not planned, an accident I would say. The initial part of watching was nostalgic because I remembered the first time I watched the movie in a theatre when I was in college. But the nostalgia was immediately replaced by a deep and profound grief in what I saw. The violence and death in Mumbai after the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992 disturbed me no end. I felt overwhelmed and sat in my seat not knowing how to react to what I was watching. I was crying inside but the ‘please do not disturb’ attitude froze the tears as they came out.

We have to come to terms with the word ‘disturb.’ Is it okay to be disturbed? Does disturbance lead to something? Should we ignore the disturbing things in our country and hope it will go away? Is education disturbing one’s state of mind or conforming to established and traditional understandings?