Lent Day 25: Mid Lent- The cross of dignity, love and hope

Everyone goes to church to feel at peace and to set down the burdens one feels. The church community can become a great place if people greet, meet and speak with care and compassion. But that is easier said than done. Which could be the reason why people feel more comfortable to go to church when there is no service and crowd. It may be to escape the intrusive gaze of someone standing near. I have seen so many people sitting in church, at peace and looking happy. Some also stare at a picture, an icon and have a silent conversation with God. It also challenges priests to work on their ministry and dealings with those who come to church. 

A church always needs to provide hope to the priest and the people. Anyone who walks in with drooped shoulders should go out head up and confident. St. John 3: 14-15 says, “ And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, so must the son of man be lifted up, that whoever believes in him may have eternal life.” Today is mid lent, the 25th day of lent, in some of the traditions. The challenge of lent is that there are some who faithfully observe lent but then fall into the trap of pride and the feeling that the observers of lent are better than the others. We also have those who haven’t observed lent and feel that it means they won’t be accepted by God. When for one group mid lent means that they have accomplished something, for the other group it means that they are out of the picture and are sinners who won’t qualify for the grace and mercy of God. 

Today in some traditions, a cross is mounted on a stand which signifies the bronze snake mounted on a pole by Moses and the mounting of Jesus Christ our Lord as hope and liberation for all of us. We can either look at the cross with guilt and pain that we have let down Jesus or we can look at the cross with hope, with courage and a mind which says that we won’t give up no matter what. People are encouraged to kiss the cross as soon as they enter the church. As we pay homage and bow with humility it is also a strengthening of our mind and body. There needs to be a communication with the cross and a belief that the cross will not let us down, because it stands for our Lord Jesus. Even on the cross, Jesus will not let us down, because he is the resurrected Lord, the chief priest and prince of peace. 

Churches have symbols and icons which take us closer to God. At no point should we worship the particular picture or icon but worship the God that it points to. The cross in church points to our Lord who gave up his life on the cross for us. It is at the same time heart breaking and heartening that someone gave up his life for us. Would anyone give up their life and dreams for us? Even our parents, siblings, partner, children, friends, family? Perhaps they will do it but there will be a limit to it. But Christ’s love is limitless. 

Who would accept us as we are? Without our money, family name, fame? Who would love us to the point of bringing us to tears and a complete turn around? We should rely on the cross and also lead our family, friends and children to the cross. We won’t be able to love others unconditionally because we are always weighed down by culture, expectations and fear. The cross mounted in church today is beyond all this, because it showcases our Lord Jesus, who treats us with dignity, showers us with unconditional love and offers us limitless hope. Amen.

Lent Day 15: Making room for compassion and love

Crowds are so difficult to handle. There are crowds because of lack of space and crowds which are created because of lack of patience. The crowds which were near Jesus were not impatient crowds or created crowds but huge realistic crowds. It is surprising that Jesus and his disciples were not crushed by these crowds.

Jesus saw people at grounds, at the shore and sometimes he was on a boat and the crowd was on land. The few times he was in a house, the people thronged to see him. So much that there came a point when one could declare that there was no space anymore. St. Mark 2: 1-12 talks of such a scenario. Verse 2 says, “And many were gathered together, so that there was no longer room for them, not even about the door…”

In South Asian countries and among the poor, lower middle class and even middle class in India, houses are filled with people. The family members and then other family, cousins and even friends who come to cities and towns for education and jobs. Even when the house is already full, the family opens its door and makes space for the person who seeks refuge. There is nothing practical about this and no clear space which is available and thought about. Space is created out of thin air.

Many Indians and Keralites who work abroad in the Middle East, also stay in bachelor rooms, where there are bunker beds and no privacy. The camps are even worse. Lots of hardships are undergone to make money for the family back home. In Kerala, migrant workers stay in small rooms, with little facilities and adjust so that they can save money to send to their homes in several parts of North India. Small rooms, spaces and facilities are created to accommodate people.

More people are cramped into a room which is already full. The sad reality of misuse of space is seen during illegal migration, when children and whole families are smuggled in trucks, boats and ships to Europe and America with promises of a bright future. Spaces, mostly illegal, are created and people are accommodated. Many don’t make it, while others squeeze through.

This is a sweaty, full and packed space into which the paralytic is brought by four men. The lack of space means that he is brought in through the roof. Creating space is a skill that the poor have. They have the gift of adapting to the situation and to the needs. This is seen in the case of the paralytic. There is always space for compassion, love and healing. The people there accept that and Jesus puts his seal on this with the healing.

Coming to think of it, the poor never say no, never say close and never say enough. The church should also follow this mentality and should embrace people instead of limiting crowds and making spaces exclusive. The high-rise buildings are possible because of workers living in cramped spaces, branded clothes and even toys are available at competitive prices because of sweatshops or spaces with poor working conditions. Jesus accepts the paralytic instead of asking his friends to take him out. He himself ministers to people in difficult scenarios and conditions. Amen.

Lent Day 13: Jesus’ cheeky gospel

Today’s thought continues with the other teachings of Jesus to stay away from power, money and authority. In St. Matthew 5: 38-39 he goes a step further by saying, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth’. But I say to you, do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.” Could it be true that Jesus tries to steer clear from the Old Testament teaching that one has to hit back, an eye for an eye!? Or is he trying to be funny, sarcastic or subtly question the hopeless system which can never offer justice to anyone?

Even though it is so difficult to comprehend, Jesus means exactly what he says. Perhaps it is even more difficult to listen to this than the other teachings. How on earth can we forgive our enemy and allow them to hurt us repeatedly, with no reaction from our side? Jesus is trying something intense here and challenging us to observe a lent, which is much beyond diet restrictions. We can restrict and even go without food but forgetting the hurt and abuse of an enemy is next to impossible. And yet we are called to do just that.

We are asked to not react. There are times when we also realise that a problem can be solved if we don’t react, if we take a walk, if we remain silent and if we choose to become strong by appearing weak. Showing our other cheek also allows us to think, to analyse, to weigh the situation and to decide whether a reaction is worth it. There is a call to give. But give not to our family, church or community but to someone who is our enemy and works against us.

This is another characteristic of a Christian which unfortunately does not exist much anymore. Was Jesus just trying to be different, unique and shocking or did he have a method behind this madness. A ritualistic way of giving hands and seeking reconciliation would be for one person to say, “Forgive me a sinner” and for the other to reply, “God forgives and so do I.” The people then switch sides and say the opposite as well. When someone seeks forgiveness, it is for some wrong that they have already committed. Our response would be “God forgives and so do I.” We would ideally not hit the person and then say, “I forgive you.”

During lent, our effort for reconciliation can only have the reply which God suggests. It is to show our other cheek. Showing our other cheek does not only suggest to be hit on that too, but to have a cheek to cheek show of reconciliation and love. Jesus is suggesting a natural Christ like or Christian response to hatred and conflict. Our response should always be towards reconciliation and not revenge. It does not matter what another person does. Our only response is forgiveness and reconciliation.

This lent, let us challenge ourselves to say “I forgive you and I love you” to someone who has hurt us. This is exactly what Jesus does when we hurt him. He shows his other cheek, to love, to accept and to care. The crowds flocked to see Jesus exactly because of this. May we also get this craziness and cheekiness to confuse and distract people so much that they respond positively to our overtures of friendship and love. Amen.

(Photo credit: 

The Valentine challenge: Will churches support inter caste marriages?

As we come across Valentine’s Day messages, loved up snaps of couples in courtship and already married, it will bid well to go back to the story of St. Valentine. Whether mythical or not, we are reminded of the story of the young priest who gives support to young couples who wanted to get married. The decree of Emperor Claudius that young men should not get married as he wanted a strong army is then challenged and opposed. Valentine is thrown into jail and later tortured and killed for this.

Churches and other religious institutions oppose Valentine’s Day because of the way it has been commercialized and has become a means of selling merchandise including red flowers, cards and other gifts. Special candle light dinners, vacations and offers are also added to the list of temptations. Young couples feel forced to spend money on each other to prove their love. The commercialization of this day can indeed be opposed even though I reject arguments that Valentine’s Day itself is against Indian culture.

Dr. B. R. Ambedkar’ observation that inter caste weddings are the real remedy for breaking caste can be read and interpreted for Valentine’s Day. But what is really happening in India? Marriage murders and honor killings are the rule of the day even in 2024. Either men from a Dalit background are killed for marrying a girl from an upper caste or a girl who belongs to an upper caste is killed for marrying someone from a lower caste or another community. These killings are not limited to certain parts of India only as was seen in 2018 in the case of the torture and murder of Kevin Joseph in Kerala or as late as 2023 when a 14 year old girl in Kerala was tortured by her own father and given pesticide due to which she later died. All because she was in a relationship with a boy from another community. In all cases, the justification of the parents is that they killed because they loved their child!

1 Corinthians 13:6 says that love does not rejoice in wrong doing but rejoices in the truth. Since when has the church started being against love? Or is the church and are other religions thinking of caste over and ahead of God and love? Valentine’s Day is a time to go beyond celebrations and to light a candle for all the couples who deeply loved each other and yet could not live together because of the narrow mindedness of their family, religion and even church. The passion shown by churches to talk about and preach about their community and not about our Lord Jesus means that caste and community matter more to us and this should be called out and rejected at any cost.  

Today is a day of taking a stand, of supporting, of being strong so that those in love can be together. A priest should be a custodian of love, a custodian of couples who are in love and a custodian of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We need more Valentine priests in our midst. Priests who can reflect the zeal of St. Valentine, who gave his life for the happiness of young couples. The church has to also come clear on this and stop preaching importance of community and caste and give protection, legal help and spiritual guidance to young couples from different castes and communities who want to get married. The church has to become a safe space for love, the preaching of love, the enacting of love and for people in love.

Prayer for family

Loving God, I thank you for the grace of a loving family. My family includes those who are related to me through blood and those who have become family through love. I am thankful for the gift of family that makes me strong, gives me a reason to work, and makes me persevere.

I pray this day that I may be available to my family, increase the radius of my family circle and be accepted into other families through my acts of Christian love and concern. Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you have been concerned and caring enough to accept me into the circle and family of love that you are. Teach me to love, to be in and of family and to cure and be cured with the strength of family. Whenever cracks appear in my family, help me to soothe and heal those cracks by the strength that I have received from the family of the Holy Trinity. Amen.

Valentine’s day : A spiritual explanation of a popular celebration

Valentine’s day has over the years become a celebration used to sell cards, flowers and goodies meant for couples to exchange. Many shops convert entire floors into Valentine’s themes with red being the dominant colour. There are also many groups which come out against the celebration, calling it a Western import and a blot on Indian culture. This being the case it always comes out, with or without the story of St. Valentine, as an unwanted and avoidable youth celebration.

But just like Father’s day, Mother’s day and even Independence day and Republic day celebrations are a remembrance of several things, Valentine’s day is also a remembrance of something. From that perspective Valentine’s day can also be a learning for age groups other than the young and single.

Love and relationships are also cornered as something which single women and men do and it is seen as having nothing to do with married couples and the aged. So much that love is not seen as a significant aspect of marriage but instead fidelity, faithfulness, morality and longevity are. This brings me to the point that celebrations about love should be seen as an opportunity to reenergize and reevaluate existing relationships.

The criticism of celebrating Valentine’s day is always centered around the fact that it has nothing to do with a marriage or a serious relationship going towards marriage but is rather a non-serious attempt of couples professing their love to a losing cause. This is why Valentine’s day is looked at with animosity and this is also why love marriages are looked at with animosity by traditional families. Even though times are changing, this animosity still exists and parents are worried about such celebrations. But if such traditions become part of family exercises in which the aged, middle aged and young are a part of, then this animosity will change.

What does the bible say about love? 1 Corinthians 13:13 says “And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love” and it shows that love is the foundation of all religions. 1 John 4:7 says “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” again suggesting that without love we cannot know God and this is a clear message to families who are against love. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life” meaning that our very salvation is based on the fact that God loves us. The basis of every family and church thus must be love. We must do everything on this basis and whenever we question love, we are questioning God God’s self. Learning from this, we can question commercialization in society but we can’t question love, we can question erosion of true love but we can’t question love, we can question love which ferments abuse in relationships based on gender and caste but we can’t question love.

In today’s culture perhaps the biggest problem is that religion overall and Christianity specifically is adjusting itself to popular notions of security, gender relations, caste, race and class. A Valentine’s day celebration is an opportunity to pray and write that love is not a problem but the abuse of love in unequal relationships is. We need not jump onto the band wagon of love haters and groups which question love but rather need to read the bible closely and meditate on what God wants us to do.

In this context a Valentine’s day prayer would be

Lord of love, help me to pray for love that I may preach and live the gospel of love which Christ Jesus did. God of love, help me to be in active relationships of love in my house, school, college, work place and church which will make me sacrifice for the benefit of others. Holy Spirit, help me question love haters who reject couples and relationships, and thereby lead us together to spread the love of God on the cross. Amen.   

Picture credit: 4mygodsglory.wordpress.com

A prayer for evangelization

Gracious God, you have taught us to experience, teach, preach and practice love. Be with us as we read the gospel and practice it in our lives. There are many who having read have not understood, who could not read because of varying circumstances and who will readily read the gospel if given a chance. Even as the world is facing an erosion of good values, justice and peace, we pray for the gospel to reach places it has thus far never been heard or understood. Help us to start and be part of church initiatives of evangelization which seek to convert hearts hardened by hatred, revenge and violence to hearts which seek reconciliation and love.

May the church and we who serve the church preach and teach the gospel in places misunderstood and in contexts misinterpreted. God is love and how can this love be limited to few places in the world. May our thoughts, actions and deeds reflect the conversion experience we have had in Christ and lead us to work for the church, which is the body of Christ. Help us and lead us Holy Spirit we pray in one accord. In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Prayer for couples

God allow us to be in relationship with our partner and explore every single day and moment that you have envisaged for us. You give us so many opportunities to know and accept one another but work, projects, and deadlines come in between. We hide behind these excuses Lord when actually priority, ego and lack of understanding are what distance us. Help us to see how our life and the reason we are is because of your love to us. May we understand, sacrifice for, make time and accept our partner and take care of their needs and wants. Loving God, may we understand that you have created us out of love so that we may love different people and things in various ways. Help us to see our partner as our soul mate. Teach us to forget outward beauty and instead see vividly the beauty inside and use touch and observation to draw closer to each other and through that realize you and your presence in us dear Lord. In your existence as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, you gave time, love and importance to one another so much that we feel you as one even though we refer to you as three. Love is knowing, seeing, feeling and doing like no one else. Help us to love each other just as you love us dear God. Amen.  

Worship order for Will you be my Valentine worship

Opening prayer
We arrive from many different experiences and backgrounds. Some of us have trouble speaking; others are so young that they’re still learning to talk. Some of us speak English as a second language, and others of us can speak several foreign languages. All of us share this in common
(congregation:) We speak the language of love.
In the moments before worship begins, and again when we return to the service of life, we greet one another with kind words; we chat about the days behind us and days to come, and
we speak the language of love.
We lift our voices in song — not to sing perfectly or in tune, but to hear and feel our voices form a life-giving sound; and
we speak the language of love.
As we form a web of compassionate listening when individuals among us, embodying vulnerability, name the fears that grip their hearts, the joys that buoy their spirits.
we speak the language of love.
At times, our voices clash. We disagree. Tension enters our voices as we make room for different beliefs, different opinions, different perspectives. Through it all, it's our intention that...
we speak the language of love.
In this congregation, we welcome a multiplicity of truths, and invite them to be named out loud. We prophesy, summoning the age when justice and peace will be evident all around us, and
we speak the language of love.
Let us worship together, making room for one another as whole beings, tender hearts, hungry spirits, and curious minds. With our actions and with our words, let us
...speak the language of love.

Bhajan

Let’s dwell in the love of the gospel (In unison)
Merciful God, we know that your mercy comes out of a heart which loves all of us. Pour your spirit of love upon us God that we listen to the gospel with love and great understanding. May we stand close and listen carefully and accept whole heartedly the gospel which loves us and speaks to us. Amen.

Bible reading
St. Matthew 22: 37-40
St. Matthew 25: 35-40

Confession (All together)
We have not held on to opportunities to love, care and share. Instead we build hate thinking it will be a good investment for our family. Little did we notice the sand sliding away from our feet and the tension building in our house. Love can change everything, it can do wonders. Knowing this we come to your loving presence gracious God ready and willing to love and to be loved. Amen.

Absolution
Love can make us forgive seventy times seven. Love can go beyond rules and traditions and make us whole. God never punishes. God just seems far away because we push God away. Now love will bring us near and will wipe away everything which keeps us from God and God’s loving presence. Amen.

Special song

Greetings

Sermon

Exchange of love: Will you be my Valentine?

Intercession
We pray God for gender sensitivity and acceptance of one another. May our faith and practice gently nudge others into exploring the beauty of love. Let people all around us exclaim “Look how they love one another.” We pray for a community of love which is sensitized to treat one another in love and equality. Lord, in your love towards us. Hear our prayer.

We pray, God of love, that even as flowers are exchanged and vows are made, we don’t forget the story of Valentine, who risked his life and brought couples together in matrimony. He stood for love against war, hatred and violence. Help us, God, to rid ourselves of unfounded patriarchal norms and stand for love because it is a cross against weapons, barricades, guardians of morality and cultural misconceptions. Lord, in your love towards us. Hear our prayer.

Tender and loving God, we pray that wrong cultural norms are healed by the freedom of love. May village khaps and male dominated community groups show true love to women and include women in the decision making and thereby stop one sided decisions against couples who take the bold step of inter-caste and inter-religious marriages. We pray that groups who offer safe spaces to such couples may also flourish and people all over India support mixed weddings. Lord, in your love towards us. Hear our prayer.

God of compassion, we pray for true love where people love each other wholeheartedly and where love is not limited to a couple or a family but goes much beyond that. May the love of God lead us to share our food with the hungry, welcome strangers, cloth the naked and take care of, pray for and visit the sick and destitute. We pray for Ajungla Jamir and her family on the untimely passing away of her sister. We pray for those who have experienced bereavement and those who are recovering from medical emergencies. Lord, in your love towards us. Hear our prayer.

We pray God for the World Association for Christian Communication and its functionaries and members. May they be strengthened in their work towards women empowerment and the Global Media Monitoring project. We pray for the UTC community, so that we inspire, support, love and care for one another. Lord, in your love towards us. Hear our prayer.

Affirmation of faith (In unison)
We believe in God,
who is love, whose love is manifest
in all Creation, in our lives, and in all people.

We follow Christ, who embodied God's love through Mother Mary.
In his life and ministry, his death and resurrection,
and his granting to us of his Spirit,
he filled us with that love as well.

We live by the Spirit, the presence of God's love in us.
In that love we participate in the Church, Body of Christ,
in loving God by loving our neighbors
through our prayers, our presence, our gifts and our service.

Love is our faith, and it is a gift from God.
We thank God, and ask God's blessings,
that we may love in the name of Christ
and the power of the Spirit, to God's glory. Amen.

Love’s prayer (All together)
Our love who dwells in the heavens and on the earth, You are love.
May heaven be a greater present reality here on earth,
And may we choose to join you in making that happen.
Provide us today with the things that you think we need,
And may we not take for granted that which you have already provided for us.
Forgive us for when we don’t live as you intend,
And may we be ready to forgive others when they don’t live as we intend.
Guide us in your wisdom away from the things that would distort us,
And restore the parts in us that are already distorted.
You are goodness, love and truth,
May you remain in us forever. Amen.

Closing hymn- Go my children with my blessing

Closing prayer and benediction
How nice it is to let go and love. How good it is to love without boundaries and fear. How fulfilling it is to keep the love flowing, waiting not for a moment expecting something in return. We have committed ourselves to one another, promising to care for, share and respect all we come across. There are no break ups, only take ups, there are no tears shed, only emotions fed, there are no hard feelings of separation, only good memories egging on to reconciliation. May God who is love fill you with never ceasing love now and always. Amen.




Opening prayer- http://www.uua.org/worship/words/opening/we-speak-language-love

Marriage as a sacrament of love, care and consensus instead of a religious seal for rape

A statement has come from a section of the legislature in India explaining that rape within marriage cannot come under the preview of rape because marriage in India is different from other parts of the world. Due to this any United Nations observation and recommendation in this regard cannot be implemented in India it is being argued. The second argument being put out is that marriage is a holy sacrament and therefore what happens in such a relationship cannot be rape.

One needs to think whether marriage in India is indeed different from other countries? To consider one’s tradition higher than others is very parochial and high ended. Which culture can we refer to in India? Is it a male dominated culture and tradition or is it a marriage of equals which also exists within the Indian tradition? Indians across the board migrate to different parts of the world. When they live in other parts of the world they have to adhere to rules which give importance to equal partnership in a marriage. Will their marriage become less sacred by being in a different culture and adhering to rules which are now being labeled as anti-Indian? Will their economic clout and foreign exchange be less acceptable to the government which thrives on such NRI support?

In many churches the understanding and basis of marriage is played out as the relationship between Christ and the church. Husbands are therefore supposed to sacrifice their lives for their wives just as Christ did for his church. This understanding in some form or the other is prevalent in all religions. What is being proposed by the U.N. is not anything new but what all religions are supposed to do anyway. This is not a foreign imposition of any new law or understanding but what hasn’t been done because of continued male leadership and females adhering to patriarchal leadership norms.

Marriage is an important step in the life of a couple. The religious rite or sacrament is an institutional step which welcomes the couple into a community and makes them take a public decision and commitment in front of elders, women, men, youngsters and children. The main step of the couple is not just a sacrament but the commitment they make to one another.

This mutual commitment goes beyond everything else and despite or in the absence of any other thing, the couple will try and be committed to each other and stay with each other. Such human to human contact and commitment is not forced but is voluntary, mutual and even equal to an extent. Our relationship with God should also be natural and not forced. By saying that what happens in a marriage cannot be brought under the purview of rape, people are questioning the sacredness of mutual love of a couple, their commitment to one another and the love in their marriage. Marriage is not a slave of the state. The state ensures that those who enter a marriage have their rights safeguarded. Religion makes sure that this coming together is blessed with the presence of God in the witness of the particular community of family, friends and well wishers.

Fr. George Morelli puts it such “St. Paul explains this beautifully (the essence of marriage) when he compares the love a man should have towards his wife in terms of the love that Christ has for the Church. "Husbands, love you wife," St. Paul writes, "as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her ... " (Ephesians 5:25). Therefore any type of sexuality, which is self-centered, manipulative and degrading, is impure because it is not based on self-emptying, self-giving, committed, and creating love. Love always has as its center the good and welfare of the individual. It is for our good and welfare that we were created by God, our Father, redeemed by Christ in His act of "Extreme Humility" of embracing the cross, and sanctified by the Spirit whom He sent. As Christ took on our flesh, a man and woman in marriage " ... shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh" (Matthew 19:5-6). Thus the words of St. Paul to the Corinthians have so much meaning: "The body is not meant for immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body." As God's love is not casual, crude, rude and self-centered, so too, sexual love should not be this way. As God's love is giving, emptying and creative, so too sexual love should be this way.” This does suggest clearly to us that love and sexual relations cannot be seen from the perspective of how it has been explained recently in India.
Both religion and the state ensure that the people are given their rights and grow up in an environment of trust, love and equality by using religious texts, tradition, theology and the constitution as guiding principles. Religious texts, traditions and the constitution give enough and more pointers on how a marriage should be and how the relationship between a wife and husband should be. Despite this there are attempts within the legislature and the church to oppress certain groups for some benefits.

In the paper “Marital rape: A Legalized Sin”, Anjali Shrivastava, Devanshu Jain and Ayan Hazra identify the short comings of an archaic law which has limited scope for women who are married. The law says that punishment for the spouse can only come about if the wife is under 15 years of age or if the couple are separated at the time of the non consensual sex. The Justice Verma committee constituted after the gruesome rape in Delhi in 2012 proposed that this should be changed and domestic rape has to be brought under the purview of rape. Recommendations made by the Verma Committee include
“i.The exception for marital rape be removed.
ii. The law ought to specify that:
a. A marital or other relationship between the perpetrator or victim is not a valid defence against the crimes of rape or sexual violation;
b. The relationship between the accused and the complainant is not relevant to the inquiry into whether the complainant consented to the sexual activity;
c. The fact that the accused and victim are married or in another intimate relationship may not be regarded as a mitigating factor justifying lower sentences for rape.”
‘Though the committee had recommended the removal of the exception for marital rape, no steps have been taken by the legislation regarding it.’

The query whether India is not on par with other countries brought up the reply on the specific culture and sacredness of marriage in India. Sana Shakil writes that “Marital rape is illegal in countries such as New Zealand, Canada, Israel, France, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Russia and Poland. It is also an offense in 18 states in the US and three in Australia. A survivor of marital rape in the country (India) can get some relief by filing a case against her husband under 498A IPC (husband subjecting his wife to cruelty). However, the section doesn't clearly define the term cruelty and carries a maximum punishment of three years and fine.” India in this sense does need a clear definition of law and amendment of the law.

The statement on rape within marriage should be seen as a statement against married women and a lack of interest in bringing out real development in the country. Marriage is not a license to rape. Marriage is a commitment to live together in love, mutual respect, sharing and harmony. The only option for a woman who is raped within the perceived sacredness of marriage should not be limited to separation and divorce but also to file a case against the injustice meted out to her. This is what religion and the state should stand for. Anything else will be a blot on our fragile religious harmony and democracy.




Picture courtesy http://www.oneonta.edu/faculty/farberas/arth/arth200/Heroic_Rape.html
Poussin's Rape of the Sabines, painted in the 1630s and today in the New York Metropolitan Museum, may well be the rape image most familiar to American art historians. It illustrates an episode from the early history of ancient Rome. The Romans, unable to obtain wives peacefully, staged a festival, invited the neighboring Sabines, and, at a signal from Romulus, each violently seized a Sabine woman.