Lent is a great time to resolve the pressure of exams

It is exam time and starting from small classes to bigger classes with board exams to exams for professional courses and even assessments in the office, it is an exam season. You are either writing, or teaching to write or praying that the teacher and the student are on the same page while writing.  The most important prayer for any Christian in the form of the Lord’s prayer which mentions “Lead us not into temptation” can also be seen as lead us not into examinations! All said and done many families can’t handle the pressure of a lent and an exam together.

The Lenten season is a great time to write exams, finish a paper and be assessed by someone. It is because one should seize the opportunity of making it a time when one is relaxed, focused and praying more that God takes control of our lives. But unfortunately that is not the case in many homes. Some diet control apart, parents and children are tensed about writing exams and about doing better than the boy or girl next door. This should never be the case during lent as lent is a time to relax and just be what God wants us to be, and that is, very relaxed people.

Suicide rates in the age group of 15-29 are one of the highest in India. Each year, between 30 and 40 people per 100,000 Indians aged between 15 and 29 kill themselves. This accounts for about a third of all suicides in the country. “A common cause for concern is the pressure from parents to do well in the national board examinations, especially for Class XII, before finishing school. As scores in these exams often determine college admissions and subsequent employment opportunities, students aged 16-18 are often subjected to undue pressure at home to succeed. When they don't, suicide becomes a way out. In 2013 alone, 2,471 suicides were attributed to "failure in examination".”

One understands the pressure parents go through. The pressure to copulate and create off springs, the pressure to give them everything under the sun to make up for the lost time at home, the pressure to not just make them like us but to make them do everything we could not do which includes scoring more marks than us, the pressure to use them as one more trophy for social status, the pressure to say that they have a particular degree and that they studied in a particular school or college. The pressure is endless. Lent is a time to rethink about all these pressures. Don’t have children for someone else but if that is what you want. Don’t give children everything under the sun, rather give them all the love you have. Don’t make them do everything you could not do rather let them do what they want to do. You can always have a say in this process by asking the right questions and giving a fair chance for your child/children to make the correct decision. Your child is not a trophy to show off but your flesh and blood which God has given you. Don’ show them off rather keep them close to your heart till they are ready to fly off. Don’t look for the best schools and colleges, rather look for the best education of which you are an integral part. Your child cannot be someone you do not know or can no more relate with. The best education is received at home. Don’t give up the teacher in you and trade that for the teacher in school or college. They are there to bring out the best in your child, not to replace you.

As a parent, whatever happens in school, you (we) should be there for your child and help them to do their best and not to perform or show someone else. Our children are our reflection. They need not out perform us every time. They need not be as smart as us. They will flourish in their own time. For every suicide that has happened in another house, we are responsible as well, because we have contributed to the pressure felt by children. Lent should be a time we use to understand and encourage our children and sacrifice our time and resources for them just like Christ Jesus did for us. James 1:3-8 says “because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance;  and let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking in nothing.  If any of you is lacking in wisdom, ask God, who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and it will be given you.  But ask in faith, never doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind;  for the doubter, being double-minded and unstable in every way, must not expect to receive anything from the Lord.” Don’t doubt in the grace of God which is available to all of us. Teach this to our children and they will be on their way to becoming good human beings never wanting in and for anything.

An examination should be seen as an experience and not a rat race. The life of our child/children is not worth any exam. Their life and living should be more valuable to us instead of exam results. During lent let us take time to be with them and give them all that they need to prepare for and write their exams. At no point of time should there be a talk of marks and comparisons with others because God has given you more things sometimes than others. If you or I accepted that without seeing or questioning why our neighbor did not get it, why are we now looking at comparisons? James 1:12-13 says that we are beyond trials and temptations. “Blessed is anyone who endures temptation. Such a one has stood the test and will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.  No one, when tempted, should say, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil and he himself tempts no one.” Let this lent be a time to let our children flourish and become who God wants them to be and not who we want them to be. Let us love them this lent and love them so much that we allow them to relax and do as well as they can. Let the comparison be with themselves and no one else. Amen.

Don’t hide your face from God this lent

St. Luke 5:12-16

The passage of Jesus healing the man with leprosy kicks off a multitude of miracles committed by Jesus. But it will be revealing for us to check the first part of St. Luke 5 and then read verses 12 to 16 to understand an interesting contrast which will help us observe lent in a better way. This contrast between good and bad and accepted and unaccepted makes us question certain usages.

Jesus speaks to a crowd and he has his future disciples with him. They fish but are unsuccessful in their attempt. Jesus advises them to let down the nets. They get a big catch of fish. Simon is overwhelmed with shame that he kneels and tells Jesus to move away as Simon Peter considers himself a sinner. Jesus though still offers him hope. Our lent many a time is like Simon catching fish. We are confident that our lent is making us pure and strong whereas without Jesus there is no lent! Simon then realizes his inadequacy and hides his face from Jesus by kneeling down. Our lent is a hiding from God as we kneel and take part in the lent but never offers ourselves to God to be moulded according to God’s plan.

The leper on the other hand is our model for lent. He is the outcast. Like all lepers he would have faced the humiliation of informing people that he, a leper was coming and that they should not defile themselves because of him. It blinded the society so much that the word leper because synonymous with sinner. This is the man who talks to Jesus. But unlike Simon, he feels no shame of inadequacy. He has nothing to lose because he has not gained anything. The leper then kneels like Simon but unlike him, tells Jesus “If you wish (choose), make me clean.” In the process of touching and healing the leper, Jesus is healing us and our shame which we try to hide by observing lent.

But unlike Simon who was the accomplished fisher man, we can benefit well if we look at the leper, who was in turn the man looked down upon. While Simon gives up and asks Jesus to leave, the leper finds strength in his condition and invites God into his heart and life. The lent of Simon is the lent we unwittingly observe. We are lenting but we are pushing God away. The lent of the leper is what we should observe. It sounds and looks disgusting, but it is the lent to follow because we are asking God “Lord if you wish (choose), make me clean.”

What a beautiful lent this can be when we follow the foot steps of the leper, even though we are not sure how it is. The leper is confident and hopeful. On the other hand steps taken by the accepted may not take us to God because God is being asked to leave by the dominant. Let this be a lent when we leave society’s accusations and labels with them and kneel before God and say “If you wish, make me clean.” We can qualify that and say “If you wish make me a clean father/mother, if you wish Lord make me a clean son/daughter, if you wish Lord make me a clean sibling, if you wish Lord make me a clean person, if you wish Lord make me a clean friend and so on. Lent is not a time to live on our assurance and skill rather it is a time to live on the assurance of God.

A young child was told by her parents to observe lent. She asked questions about lent and tried to understand what it was. Her parents finally told her that lent meant sacrificing something we like so much. After some thought she said “I am going to have a study lent. I love studying, so I will stop doing that this Lenten season!” There is much wisdom in what the girl said because she noticed what the elders were doing. Let us stop hiding from God this lent, telling God that we are sinners and asking God to leave. Instead, let us leave that to Christ Jesus. Let him decide who we are and what we mean to him. In the course of this lent rejoice if others reject you because that means you will be accepted by God. Amen.   

A social media fast could be detrimental to lent

Many people and sometimes even church traditions encourage other forms of lent and fasting. They include carbon fasting, alcohol fasting, sweets fasting, carbonated drinks fasting, movie fasting, T.V. fasting and social media fasting which includes popular platforms like facebook and whats app, to name a few. I have seen many social media status messages that someone won’t be on facebook for the next 50 or 40 days. Is this a good way of fasting?

There is nothing wrong when people select their modes of fasting. One should not judge anyone as everyone has a right to feel the essence of lent in their own way. But what is problematic about a social media fast? It largely depends on how one uses social media. If social media is used for spying on the lives of others, reading forwards and jokes which are hurtful and racist and forwarding messages without checking the authenticity and veracity of such messages, then taking a break from them is definitely something we should do. That is because our usage of social media is hurting us and others.

On the other hand if we use social media to communicate with people, then going on a social media fast denies humanity and communication to others in this fast paced world. This will make us construct separate huts of fasting which don’t communicate with each other and which are not there for one another. Matthew 25:34-40 says “Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;  for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’  Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink?  And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing?  And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.’” Now it is definitely good to go in person and feed someone, to give something to drink, to welcome a stranger, to clothe someone, to take care of someone and visit someone in prison. There is no doubt about that.

But in today’s world everyone is caught up with work which lasts long and is unending. The time to physically be present for someone is becoming lesser and lesser in today’s context. So we must make do with other forms of communication and reaching out to people. These are mainly to reach out to people and the actual act may be done physically and in person. For instance, after lent started, I reached out to a destitute home and asked them what was their weekly and monthly need for food was and then informed my church women’s fellowship who had enquired with me about the need, I got in touch with another organization and asked them to furnish details of their organization so that a company could help them as part of their Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), another church group was informed about a need for blankets and clothes for an orphanage, a follow up was done for an old lady who was visited in the hospital by asking her daughter how she was and when a visit could be done next, spoke with elderly people who were far off and who could not be visited in person, and wrote and shared Lenten thoughts to people who could not attend church or read a bible study where they were working. Most of these things were initiated by others in the form of requests through social media.

The point is that social media has become an extended arm of communication. If it is used for the purpose of reaching out to people, connecting people, informing people and inspiring people, then having a social media fast will not serve the purpose of a meaningful lent. Instead what we should try for is a lent when we make more effort to reach out to others. Colossians 3:8 says “But now you must get rid of all such things—anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth.” If social media makes us do this by the means of reading and forwarding irresponsible and hurtful messages, then we should indeed be off it. But it would be preferable to learn how to use social media during lent. Psalm 37:30 offers more wisdom in saying “The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak justice.” We can responsibly use social media to reach out and help many.

To conclude, it is not technology and social media which is the culprit leading everyone into sin. Rather, it is the use of technology and especially social media by humans which is the problem. Lent is a good time to learn how to use social media for the benefit of the poor and needy. Abstinence will only lead to non-usage followed by a rush in inappropriate usage. Instead of that, lent should reform our way of using social media. 

We can take a social media lenten pledge that we won't laugh at others, won't make racial slurs, won't send insulting messages to others, won't be rude online, won't watch inappropriate content, won't forward anything that we receive without checking the authenticity of it and won't use the social media to troll, insult and hurt others.  Amen.  

Shall we try an anger fast this lent?

Lent helps to cleanse our soul and make us better people. But when people talk of the struggles that they face in life, anger is one of the top most things that come out. There are many people who say that he/she is a good person but can’t control their anger. It is interesting to note that many people who have diet restrictions and fasting end up being angrier than others. It could also be due to the frustration of not being able to eat properly or even the fluctuation of blood sugar levels. Whatever it is, anger in men and women becomes one significant thing that people can change during lent but it is easier said than done. It should also be noted that channelizing anger rather than completely doing away with anger perhaps is a better model. Can an anger fast then be a meaningful fast for us during lent?

Whichever ladder of the hierarchy we belong to, anger should not be a part of our repertoire. A priest should not get angry at his congregation, a father and mother at their child/children, siblings to one another, friend to another friend and colleague to colleague. There is no justification for anger as it is unsettling for our body and soul. Thomas Aquinas wrote that anger can become a mortal sin if “through the fierceness” of the anger a person “falls away from the love of God and his neighbor.” Getting angry at someone is not a solution to a problem and neither can it be justified citing seniority and more experience. The more one has seen the world, the more one should be able to channelize one’s anger as we can’t justify getting angry at God’s creation because it is like getting angry with God.

Ephesians 4:26 says “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Our fasting and lent should teach us and reform us to deal with our anger. Some of us fast till noon, some afternoon and some evening. But what use will it be if we can’t channelize our anger properly? We justify anger because we do not see it as part of morality and morality is what concerns us the most than anything else. James 1:19-20 says “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” We jump at something we hear and don’t even think for a moment or say a small prayer. It is the spur of the moment and then we can’t take back what we said.

Anger mostly only instills fear in others and we are not justified in instilling fear in others as that would lead to forcing people into things. Nothing forced will last in life. We sometimes get angry at one word or one action. Proper prayer will give us the strength to be patient and understanding. One explanation of diet restriction for lent is that ordinary food makes us calm and patient. But this may not be the case always because people can be bitter with the fact that they are on a lent or that they are doing this for someone. This may not help. Anger will not get us anywhere. Matthew 5:22 says “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment…” Lent is a hope for a better tomorrow. By getting angry and judging others we are falling into judgment ourselves. This does not in any way fulfill the reason for lent. The Psalmist puts it more directly in Psalm 37:8-9, “Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret- it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land.”

Aristotle said something very thought provoking and it is “To become angry is easy. To be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not easy.” Even when we say that lent is a good time to do away with anger or channelize anger properly there are two things that should qualify that. In a house it could mean that the wife can never get angry because she will have the burden of being patient and keeping quiet to prevent a tensed situation. This may lead to the explanation by a husband that his wife did not allow him to observe a true lent because she did not understand his anger and keep quiet and instead got angry herself leading to a reaction from him. Anger sometimes has to be talked out between family and friends as otherwise it will come out at an unexpected time. This is a danger that we ignore. Husband and wife or partners should use lent as a time to talk about frustrations, dreams, unaccomplished things, misunderstandings and plans. This will become properly channelized anger as the anger inside will come out instead of being suppressed.

The second thing is righteous anger which is often quoted by many in church as a justification to get angry. Michael Perrott talks of Jesus getting angry at the temple. This is seen in three gospels in Matthew 21, Mark 11 and John 2. By and large I have seen this as a passage used by church leaders to justify getting angry in church and in certain cases refusing to reconcile. But Perrott has a different explanation of the righteous anger of Jesus. He says that the shops and the money exchange happened in the place which was for the gentiles. All this activity denied them an opportunity to worship in a certain section of the temple. So it was not only that they were confined to a certain section but that even that was taken over by commercial interests. This was when Jesus got very angry. I look back at the three years of pastoral ministry in my latest church. I have got angry very few times. But once I had an outburst and everyone in church was surprised. It was because there was talk of pushing a family out of church for a flimsy reason. I can understand how Jesus would have felt when certain people were denied an opportunity to worship God.

So channelizing our anger and expressing righteous anger for the right reasons are how we qualify not getting angry. But otherwise anger will not get us anywhere and we will only drown in our own anger. Lent is an excellent opportunity to reform ourselves from being angry people to channelizing our anger and expressing rightful and righteous anger like Jesus did, for the people of God. May we be able to deal with our anger pangs and anger issues this lent. Let us try an anger fast where we consciously tell ourselves that we won’t get angry with anyone unless we are talking for God's people and not just ourselves. Amen.