Matthew 20:1-16: Exploring a theology of football

Matthew 20:1-16

20 “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. 2 After agreeing with the laborers for the usual daily wage,[a] he sent them into his vineyard. 3 When he went out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace; 4 and he said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went. 5 When he went out again about noon and about three o’clock, he did the same. 6 And about five o’clock he went out and found others standing around; and he said to them, ‘Why are you standing here idle all day?’ 7 They said to him, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard.’ 8 When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his manager, ‘Call the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and then going to the first.’ 9 When those hired about five o’clock came, each of them received the usual daily wage.[b] 10 Now when the first came, they thought they would receive more; but each of them also received the usual daily wage.[c] 11 And when they received it, they grumbled against the landowner, 12 saying, ‘These last worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the day and the scorching heat.’ 13 But he replied to one of them, ‘Friend, I am doing you no wrong; did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage?[d] 14 Take what belongs to you and go; I choose to give to this last the same as I give to you. 15 Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or are you envious because I am generous?’[e] 16 So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”[f]


The FIFA world cup in Brazil is progressing fast amidst the knock out pre quarter final stage and strong teams have already fallen by the way side even as new inexperienced teams with lesser rankings are making surprising strides forward. The Brazilian people are divided into the ones who want to showcase Brazil as a country capable of conducting such an extravagant sporting event and those who say that food and not a football is what everyone wants on their plate.

Pope Francis has come out with a statement on football and world cup himself and it tries to say that solidarity with the poor and people should be the primary concerns of such a sporting event. Such a team event has to be played with a spirit of camaraderie and foster goodwill. The message goes on to say that "sport is not only a form of entertainment, but also a tool to communicate the values ​​that promote the good of the human person and help to build a more peaceful and fraternal coexistence" and that "football can and should be a school for the formation of a "culture of encounter", leading to harmony and peace among people – teaching as it does the value of fair play and authentic team effort – values, the message concludes, without which all of society is damaged."

Can football have a theology and does God have anything to do with football? What we should realise is that football as we see it on television as an event is not what football actually is. Football is played on the streets, in backyards, schools, churches and homes. It brings people together but also has a Christian spirit hidden in the game.

Matthew 20:1-16 talks about the owner who wanted work in his vineyard done. He hires people in the morning but then realises that several need to be hired at several times because there are people without work. His mind to give work is criticized finally by the first timers who complain that despite being out in the sun from the beginning, they get the same wage that is given to the last timers. The owner then asks them as to what their problem is. What is it to them as he has already given them what he had promised. Why are they concerned with what the others are getting? This passage can always be used by the rich to suggest that Christianity is not a religion of the rich and that it is following Marxist thoughts in justifying the lesser work done by workers. It is another thing that this passage as also the beatitudes along with several other passages of the bible were already existent much earlier than Marx. The passage also suggests a more just way of looking at work and life as such and does not speak about working and not working but putting the usually elusive justice to work in the situation.

This is where understanding the theological message of the game of football offers some help. The game of football is played with eleven players in a team, each player having his or her role to play. But the most intriguing part of the game is the substitution of players and in some cases the super subs who come at almost the end of the match and steal the thunder from other players by scoring the all elusive goal. The other players can say like the workers in the passage that they were there from the beginning of the match and how can a substitute who comes in at the last moment get the lime light and equal payment?

Football is not just a man’s game or a game played in expensive stadiums, and in world cup like situations. Rather football is played wherever people want to come together. It is played by ordinary people who come together in solidarity and a spirit of hope and reconciliation. It is not war on the field but belief in human potential and team spirit.

The bible passage is clear. It is the master’s prerogative to pay how much ever he wants to whomever. The pay is not based on who was there first but on recurring justice. It is the inclusion of the excluded and the bringing about of joy and cheer to the faces of all. This is a season therefore to feel this excitement of sitting out so that someone can play, knowing that when we play, we play for the team and that the first will be last and the last will be first. It is not to take away the entrepreneurial spirit of anyone but to rather say that our toils will be rewarded when others also come into the picture.



(Picture courtesy http://www.e-pao.net/epGallery.asp?id=1&src=Sports/Football/Football201202)

Patriarch Ignatius Zakka I Iwas: The equinox on which the church rode three decades.

The Patriarch of Antioch and all the East, H.H. Moran Mor Iganatius Zakka I Iwas is no more. The Holy Father who lead his sheep for 34 years is now a memory. As funeral service dates and the place of the funeral have been fixed and as people are waiting to be a part of the funeral, in person and online, one must bring grief, loss and confusion into perspective to come to terms with what has happened.

The patriarch did have health issues which were also linked with age but no one expected an end now. So much that many faithful in India are still waking up to the fact that their spiritual leader won’t be coming to India again to meet them and share his love with them. His passing away is a loss in definite terms to everyone who knew him personally, those who saw him from far and those who read and heard about him.

Grief has to have a way of being dealt with and when a national or church leader dies we try to deal with the grief that we have. The Patriarch Moran Mor Ignatius Zakka I Iwas is and was seen as a spiritual father to all the faithful in the church. The grief we are trying to deal with today is the grief of having lost a father. Seeing pictures of the patriarch in church and even in houses has been a constant for these 34 years. It was the feeling that when you entered the two common and most warm places in your life, your Holy Father was there to greet you. That was a constant and this removal of the constant becomes one of the significant aspects of the grief felt. It is like saying that wherever we went and whatever we did, we could come back to our house and to our church and see this familiar face which would put us at ease.

The loss felt at this point of time is of having lost the person who stood as the symbol of leadership for everyone. He was the sublime face of what is and what isn’t. Losing out on this face and the memories which come with it, make us feel that we have lost something so deep, committed and fixated in our hearts and minds that we cannot replace this with anything else. One has only one father and somehow another face cannot replace this immediately. The throne of the patriarch and the authority of the patriarch go beyond the personality of the patriarch but never the less the personality touches us in more ways than the throne or the authority can.

The confusion for the people is what happens next? Who will be the next patriarch and will that person be able to fulfill all that the Patriarch Ignatius Zakka Iwas has been to all? This confusion adds to the grief of having lost our father. It is the pain of uncertainty coupled with loss that makes grief even so much more hurtful. Many of us have already experienced this with the passing away of our parent/s. This puts us back in time to a place when we lost many things and it took time to get back to our normal lives. This time our mind tells us that we are repeating this feeling in our lives.

There are several things that give us solace and hope at this time though. The patriarch was born in an ordinary family and had an ordinary life style. He joined the seminary like any other youngster who wanted to serve the church. Iraq where he was born and Syria where he then lived went through severe strife and violence. The violence in Syria continues till date. He has had to deal with Muslim Christian tensions which come with living in the same place and having a shared culture but different belief. He had to bear witness to the migration that people in his church had to undertake from their own land. He has watched the schism that affected his church in India. In essence, the patriarch watched not just the best of what happened in the church but the worst of what happened. His enthronement and period as Patriarch went through suffering and violence. But he withstood all of this with utmost sincerity and passion for service. At this time of grief this gives us constant solace and hope. The Patriarch stood his ground no matter what and so will we, because we are after all his followers.

Such problems in his own church did not deter him from being ecumenical. He fostered good relationships with other churches and set forth a great precedent in church relations by coming together with Pope John Paul II to sign a historic agreement of acknowledging the misunderstandings that crept into the churches and looking at the way forward. His straight and up right relationship with various sister churches and with member churches in the WCC showed time and again that he was as ecumenical as a Patriarch could be and one should be proud of that.

His scholarship and academic interest lead him to pen several articles and a study of these articles exposes the openness and just theology of the Patriarch. His article on women in the church is a reminder to the people in the church that God does not take sides and if at all takes sides with the weak in society. His articles therefore become a good resource for further research and study. Perhaps his basic seminary education in Syria and his further education in the U.S. together with his experience as an observer in the Second Vatican Council and his association with the World Council of Churches as one of its president’s gave him the openness to see theology and doctrine as it is instead of seeing it as how he wanted to see it. His wish to have a place of education and research lead him to build the seminary in Syria called the Mor Ephrem Seminary and Monastery at Ma’arrat Saydanaya in Syria, where incidentally he will be buried. It further made him remark that seminary and theological education in the church was very important and hence the church needed theologically educated priests. His love for the Malankara Syrian Orthodox Theological Seminary is well known and his penchant for a system and a framework made him do things in the way that the Indian church wanted it at times. Scholarships in the Patriarch’s name were made available not just to Syrian Orthodox candidates but also to Orthodox Syrian, Marthoma and other Syrian church denominations. I think it wouldn’t be far fetched to say that other sister church denominations made use of foreign scholarships in comparison to our own church members. But we can see this as a good approach that the Patriarch followed in which he chose to give away a scholarship instead of seeing it go waste. The gloominess and vacuum of his departure can be made up to an extend by encouraging theological education and research in the Syrian Orthodox Church in India. We would be honouring the Holy Father by such a distinguished decision and move.

The Patriarch’s passing away on March 21 also signifies a special day, when usually on the 20th or 21st , night and day are almost on equal terms. It is also a day used to calculate the Easter date every year. The Easter date is calculated as the first Sunday after the full moon occurring on or after the Vernical Equinox or Spring Equinox, that is, after March 21. The Spring Equinox signifies that the son is betrayed, dies and is resurrected to attain eternal life. March 21 is seen as important by many religions. The Parsis commemorate it as the beginning of spring and the beginning of the New Year. It is also seen as the time of the fight between good and evil and of good emerging victorious. His passing away at a well placed time could suggest something hope filled to the church suffering from civil war in Syria.

A leader is a leader not just by the position he or she occupies but of what the leader makes of that position. The Patriarch vociferously expressed his expression for his flock. His four visits to India and his numerous visits around the world to meet people in the church were moments of the leader reaching out to his people. This was despite his flailing health and weak knees. Anyone who visited him felt the warmth and hospitality of a human being more than a leader. This raised his stature among the people and attracted people to him. One church member grieved the passing away of the patriarch and reminisced of his experience with the Patriarch saying that he felt a positive energy when he stood next to the Patriarch. His sadness was not just of the passing away but of the thought that he could not experience this positive energy anymore. This positive energy can make people attracted to a leader to the point that they feel assured and confident in the presence of such a leader. The Patriarch managed time and again to become a soothing presence to his people and to those who met him.

The Patriarch managed to bring more people to the church by seeing the change in times. Within the traditional understanding of the church he understood that when ordinary people want to come to the church, the doors of the church cannot be closed completely to them. This may have prompted the Patriarch to accept two churches from South America into the Syrian Orthodox fold. The first number about 100,000 and are from Brazil and the second number a whopping 800,000 and are from Guatemala. Such openness may also provide hope for many others all over the world. Whatever was the reason for the Patriarch to do this, the positive ramifications of this will provide more vigour to the church and prove that the church is much beyond specific race and tradition.

To sum up, the Patriarch Ignatius Zakka Iwas has managed to be a Patriarch and a true Holy Father for all the faithful. His spirituality, theology, and above all humanity have been something which the coming generations can emulate. Even as we grieve, the Holy Father has given us the hope of spring and resurrection. He has made us look forward to the rest of lent with renewed vigour, faith and hope. More than grief, he has reminded us of a new beginning and a fresh start. This is centred on the faith in the resurrection of Christ Jesus our Lord. Go in peace our Holy Father and keep praying for us.

(The author is the small boy in between the then Patriarch Ignatius Yacoub III and the present Catholicose Baselios Thomas I.)

My preferential option for women’s day

Whenever the question of gender comes up in a lecture one can be sure that male students will categorically say that they will be neutral in their congregations once they are ordained as pastors/priests. This becomes the painful commitment they are willing to take as part of their commitment to pastoral ministry. Theological colleges all over India try their best to engage with gender studies and try to bring about gender conscientization in the colleges among students and community members. This is the responsibility of all departments.

But where are we as we commemorate another women’s day? Is it enough to be neutral or should we have a preferential option for women in church and society? WACC in its numerous deliberations has brought out the importance of having a preferential option for the poor. This has been a direct challenge to the mainline media who follow the traditional inverted pyramid of journalism whereby women, children and labourers are left out of the mainline discourse.

To turn this around one has to play a pro active role in bringing about gender justice by openly supporting women in churches and in society. This has to be a part of theological education as well. Can we make decisions purely on whether a woman qualifies based on general criteria which have been decided for all or should we include more women based on separate criteria which take into consideration the generations of oppression, lack of freedom and violence that they have undergone and continue to do so? The objection to a separate criteria leads to a skewed system whereby lesser women will get through to do theological education and be in service of the church.

Cases of violence against women continue and public spaces owned and controlled by the church and other religious institutions have imposed limitations on women as well. This means that we will be unable to change the situation of violence against women in India. A pro active stand by the church and church run institutions will lead to better gender parity and better justice. Without this International Women’s Day will be a showcase of how we have failed women and not how women are now equal to men. It will be a sober and sad recollection of our collective failure rather than a celebration of the character and strength of women.

Protest becomes a legitimate tool in the hands of women who have nothing else for support. There needs to be a movement to fill church committees and decision making bodies with women just as much as men. This can come about only with support from various sides and men will also have to be a part of this movement, always ready to do what women want. Theological educators/pastors/priests also have to decide on their preferential option to women. The often travelled route of suspecting the character of women, questioning the ability of women, negating the strength of women has to give way for trusting women, supporting women and affirming and celebrating women. This could be the greatest thing that men could do for women this women’s day. There can never be a neutral way of teaching, a neutral ministry or a neutral teacher/pastor/priest. I and you should opt to listen, accept and support women we come across in our houses, colleges, churches, streets and public spaces. The United Nations is also trying its bit this year. The slogan "A Promise is a Promise: Time for Action to End Violence Against Women" should be a wake up call for the church as well.

Making the church rape free

After a long struggle the symbol of hope for women has died down. We are told that India’s daughter wanted to live and continued to struggle, wanting to come back. Her brutal rape is a reminder of how brutal men in India are. However much we justify our institutions, frameworks, our legislators and our law enforcers, we have fallen short by many a mile. Many people in India sincerely prayed for the recovery of our daughter and sister. But nothing could stop the brutality of the rape, not even the best medical care. Where do we go from now?

I am a theological teacher (facilitator) and a church worker. My area of influence is theological seminaries, students, churches, church women, church men, girls, boys and children. I can’t help but wonder what my response to this highly despicable incident should be? After the strain and work of an academic term, after the joyful work of preaching and announcing Christ’s arrival to church members and the world, I am left drained. Not because of both the things I mentioned above, but because I haven’t been able to stop violence against women in the church and in society. I have been a failure amidst all the success I have enjoyed. And it is because of my silence, lack of pro-active involvement and status quo in the church and in seminaries that I feel this way. Every reluctance of standing for women has meant that I have been an accomplice in every rape.

What am I supposed to do? I am supposed to facilitate a thinking process in the minds of students from various parts of the country and various denominations. I am supposed to teach and practise a thinking process that women are not lesser than men, women have to be respected, women have feelings and the body of women belong to them. I am also supposed to preach and practise the same in church. But I am falling short time and again. Time and again women are not getting justice in church and I go along with the status quo. In all trueness I am not doing my job.

Every religion is supposed to be a protest, a movement asking for change. And yet we are far from it today. Can women wear what they want to in church without hearing a lewd comment in the back ground and being marked twisted? Can women speak in church without being labelled ‘forward’? Can women file a complaint against a church leader/s for harassment, misrepresentation, misuse of authority, humiliation, staring, sexual overtures, and misquoting of scripture? Can women expect the church to support them in the case of domestic violence, marriage related violence, violence at work, violence during public transport, violence at public spaces and violence from the law and authorities? If the answer is no, isn’t the church an accomplice to violence against women?

What am I going to accomplish by lighting a candle in church against the violence and brutal rape and murder of the 23 year old woman? Nothing much I suppose. There are several women in my own church who in all probability are exposed to violence in different places and the church remains silent to this. “Potte mole” (It is okay daughter, let it go daughter) is a constant reminder given to women to forgive and forget. Today has reminded us that we face a grim reality. Part of India has risen up against this. There are many others who have not got support and have been violated again and again. This is the time to fight for all women. No more potte mole. “Unaruvin and poruthuveen” (rise and fight) would be a better slogan for women and for those men and leaders including me who have some sense of guilt left in them.

Send-click-like

The need for communication in theological education can be strongly felt when we look at the bible passages from the perspective of our media rich lives today. The real does not only exist in person but in the virtual as well. Words used speak differently today.

The healing of the centurion’s servant (Luke 7:1-10) is a very popular gospel story. The narrative of the centurion sending people to ask Jesus to visit his house and heal his servant then shifts to the power of the word and the twist in the tale offered by the centurion by his words go, come and do. Jesus is very impressed by this immense faith which was rare in those times.

The knowledge and power that belonged to Jesus usually was asked to be transferred in person by people who found him special. But in the centurion’s case a virtual miracle is what he asks for. Do not trouble yourself with this, but just say the word. The go, come and do mentioned by him are the send, click and like of today. In essence this is a dissemination of information horizontally.

Jesus was informed about the centurion by certain elders and they recommend the centurion to Jesus. But the message from the centurion does away with this peculiar mediation and puts the message in the public domain for everyone to see and comment on. This is the need of the hour now. Words captured in books and publications should then become free to share and distributed online. Send-click-like.

(Excerpt from the meditation preached for the BTESSC-UTC programme for librarians)

The theology and spirituality of the Jacobite Syrian Orthodox church in India

The Jacobite Syrian Orthodox church or the Syrian Orthodox church in India is a church which is entwined in the spiritual-cultural spectrum of India for centuries now. As churches in India are in the process of understanding and even re-discovering their place in the new India, the Jacobite Syrian Orthodox church will also have to travel the same direction at some point of time or the other. The new India is not just the India of progress but also the India of discrepancies and discriminations. As the diverse country tries to understand itself, it will also look at the various religious groups in the hope of learning things from them which will help it evolve towards a common good.

What does the church have to say about the equality of humankind, sexuality, poverty, the environment, rights deprivation and economic disparity? There may be a notion among the people of India that this church is an old, strict, limited and wasted communion of people. But there is also a notion that this very church can offer through its theology, spirituality and practice a different message for an India which wants to go full blast along the high road of development. This variance in opinion may even exist inside the church itself. There are those who say that church tradition means that which is unchanging and those who say that tradition evolves with time and therefore does not stand still in the time gone by.

What could be some of the aspects we could learn from? The church gains understanding from the Trinitarian relationship of God, is energised by the communitarian essence of worship which is an unending spiritual and practical expression of believers, is aware of the unseen and unheard which brings about humility into the essence of living, brings in a special concoction of the body and the being and keeps in living memory the special relationship of God, humans and creation. These cannot be explained by members of the church. They can only be lived out. This brings out the need for the Syrian Orthodox church to live out their faith in India. The actual living will express itself in various ways and it would be dangerous to give a hard and fast ruling on this.

The church will have to include others in India in this living out of its faith. This will bring out the struggle to include others into a so far exclusive circle which we have created by the non-living of our faith. Better still we may have to do away with the circle all together or make it a flexible circle which includes all, in opposition to excluding all. The church thus has to be an inclusive, creative and life affirming community of believers. There has to be a coming together of the old and the new. This is the meeting point which the church has to affirm to the people of India. This could be the development model which seeks to conserve for many, rather than destruct in the pursuit of happiness for the few.

Interceding for hope and the prayer of hope

Intercession
God of love, we pray for communities who have been denied the essence and the means to hope. We pray for those who have been marginalized from the main stream of life and whose existence itself is a day to day struggle. We ask your help for dalits, adivasis and tribals who are fighting for their land, rights and needs. As they lose hope in the system which is supposed to protect them, we plead you to intervene and restore the hope which is rightfully theirs. Lord, in the midst of diversity, grant us hope.

God of equality and respectfulness, we pray for the equality of women in this country. We pray that women may never be turned away and kept inside their homes because of their gender. May women of all castes and religions in this country be represented by their own candidates and may we discuss and implement a bill for women, which is just and equal for all the women of this land. Lord, in the midst of diversity, grant us hope.

God of nurture and care, we pray for our children. May they receive their right to full access to education, and may they never be forced out of their innocence at an age which is decided by someone else. Give us the insight and the will to keep and not destroy what they should see and experience. May their new thinking and ideas instill a new found hope in us. Lord, in the midst of diversity, grant us hope.

God of unity, we pray for our country which is diverse and rich in its culture, religion and thought. We pray for those who suffer for believing in their way of life. Let no woman, man or child be discriminated and crucified for choosing their belief or their orientation and how they want to live life in its fullness. May we see hope in ourselves and share this hope with our neighbouring countries and the people of Asia and the world. Offer us opportunities to hope in the midst of suffering. Lord, in the midst of diversity, grant us hope.

God of knowledge, we pray for different theological communities which are diverse groups of different Christian denominations. May we learn from each other and help one another in our journey of faith and hope. Let our classes and discussions be multi faceted and exciting. May we lean on each other at times of despair and comfort one another during testing times. Lord, in the midst of diversity, grant us hope.

The prayer of hope.
Our hope in earth and heaven, glory to your name. May your true message be proclaimed and followed, in diverse contexts and cultures. Give us the means and opportunities of coming together by way of community meals and fellowships. Forgive our acts against hope as we forgive those who act against situations of hope. Lead us not into exclusive cultures but make us more inclusive and accommodating. For yours are our lives, our existence and our work forever and ever. Amen.


(This is from a worship order prepared for Asia Communication Sunday which was held at Gurukul Lutheran Theological College, Chennai on 27-6-2010)

From debating conflicts to actions of sense

Doing my theological studies in Bangalore in the United Theological College, has been one of the highlights in my academic life. It was not about discipline, punctuality or anything else that one may associate with studying in such an atmosphere. It was about being real, and learning from various experiences to be real. There were for those who chose to open their eyes, plenty of opportunities to take off the unreal mask that many of us are used to wearing. The problem with these masks is that we then become so comfortable with it, that we never take it off, even in the presence of friends and family.

For the purpose of the stimulation of the mind and to test and develop one’s oratorical skills, we had the option of attending either the hostel general body or the student’s general body. This was a place where we would discuss our problems, sometimes for hours unending, mount a verbal assault on each other and then finally shake hands in mutual admiration. You could call it the parliament of theologians. It was not that every solution was hammered out with ease and every problem would be looked into, but that there was a space for discussion.

Among the many matters that came up for heated discussion was the age old one on ‘water.’ The hostellers had an aqua guard for purifying water before consumption. Ten years ago, this was not the heavy duty one, or the one promising reverse osmosis and sweet tasting water, but one which did ordinary work, in ordinary time. For years, we had used water from it, shared water with one another with not a bother. But the complex question was finally raised. “How can we share this water with students from the family quarters when this is supposed to be only for the bachelor and spinster hostellers”? The question shook everyone out of their slumber and a vociferous debate followed. The pendulum swung from one side to the other. Allegations and counter allegations did the rounds with regional affiliations and sensitivity to the ‘other’ being used. There appeared no solution. Because of water, food became an issue as we had to stop the meeting to have dinner. But this was one issue that could not be done away with a closing argument. Even the two teachers could not do anything.

This day, we got our share of reality bites. We could gauge the different groups we were divided into and the reality that we were not willing to part with the water which we were sharing for such a long time.

Amid the growling stomachs and the ayes and the no’s, one hand was lifted. A very weak one I would say. But silence followed nevertheless, more because everyone would have been tired by then. The hand was followed by a question to the chairperson. The question itself ensured more silence. “Respected chairperson, how many litres does it take before we should change the filter of our aqua guard?” There were whispers in the background and a frenzied calculation followed. “3000 litres, replied the chairperson.” Then the weak hand continued, “That means at a minimum rate of 100 students we use 200 to 300 litres every day. And that means in ten days we would have crossed the 3000 litres limit.” More silence and then, “How long has it been since we changed the filter?” Atleast six months said the chairperson after checking with others. The voice concluded, “That means we are sitting here and fighting over water that isn’t purified anyway? So what is the point?” A few gasps here and there were followed by incessant laughter. The chairperson got up to conclude the heated debate and said, “Shall we pray?”

This was indeed a lesson I learnt and still keep close to my heart. We fight over things which are not there. Land which is not ours, water which comes and goes, religion which appears near yet is so distant. Maybe its time for a bit of sense!

Watch the door sign…Please do not disturb???

All of us value our privacy and the quality time we get to spend with our families. Many would silently wish for a sign on their door which says ‘do not disturb.’ Nothing wrong with that I guess. After all we are all working on tight schedules aren’t we? I won’t move to question this but would rather look at the word disturb.

In a culture where we are expected to be near to perfect, being disturbed and not-too-perfect then is not acceptable (to whom is another question!!!). I have distinct memories of being castigated and asked to ‘gather up my act’ and ‘get on with it.’ This state of life underwent a change when a teacher of theology once told me that it is okay to be disturbed as it means that we still have a heart inside us which reacts to what we hear and see. The teacher said that it is thus perfectly normal to ‘feel like shit’, to ‘be ashamed of oneself’, ‘to cry’, as it reflects the humanness inside us coming to terms with what is happening.

The other day I happened to watch a Hindi movie ‘Bombay’, on T.V. It was not planned, an accident I would say. The initial part of watching was nostalgic because I remembered the first time I watched the movie in a theatre when I was in college. But the nostalgia was immediately replaced by a deep and profound grief in what I saw. The violence and death in Mumbai after the Babri Masjid demolition in 1992 disturbed me no end. I felt overwhelmed and sat in my seat not knowing how to react to what I was watching. I was crying inside but the ‘please do not disturb’ attitude froze the tears as they came out.

We have to come to terms with the word ‘disturb.’ Is it okay to be disturbed? Does disturbance lead to something? Should we ignore the disturbing things in our country and hope it will go away? Is education disturbing one’s state of mind or conforming to established and traditional understandings?