Wedding sermon c(b)lues

A wedding sermon has changed over the years in church. Earlier it would be a very small exhortation in church and the couple would not be directly spoken to at the time. This changed to a small sermon about how we can examine marriage as a Holy sacrament of the church. Today we have a different model being practiced in the church, depending upon the bishops and priests conducting the wedding and the importance given to the sermon as a guideline for marriage not only for the couple getting married but to others who have assembled in church, many already married.

This particular wedding sermon https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=12&v=tgRQmgbWLUA was preached at the St. Mark's Cathedral in Bangalore. In many weddings bishops and priests don't necessarily personally know the couple getting married and so it is difficult to preach to them on a personal level. This can be fixed if the preacher meets the couple and spends some time with them, getting to know them and making them comfortable. This brings about a relationship and a breaking of ice which will reflect in the marriage service and sermon in church.

The wedding sermon should be simple for the couple and people present to understand and at the same time should reflect the theology of the church. It is a difficult task of balancing faith and actual communication of the sermon. A sermon many a time is not about big words but about simple and digestible words and known concepts put in the correct place at the correct time. For this the preacher can make use of known examples from family life, church life, humor, stories and talk directly to the couple.

Weddings in India usually are conducted in a way that very less importance is given to the couple and instead everyone else gets a chance to wear a beautiful dress, eat good food and take pictures. In the case of a wedding sermon, it is the only time that a bishop or priest can talk face to face with the couple and remind them of what a marriage is all about. Direct eye contact with the couple is desirable, looking in between at the family and others present so that they also feel part of the sermon.

The sermon can't be too long and neither can it be too short. A fifteen to a maximum twenty minute sermon is the most one should try. In the process one should watch the face of the couple and the audience to make sure that they are completely listening to the sermon and understand what is being said.

Finally, give two or three points for the wedding couple and the congregation to take away. The points should be short, easy to remember and identifiable. The points for the wedding in this link https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=12&v=tgRQmgbWLUA were marriage is a Eucharist, marriage is priceless and marriage is high definition. Even if the couple remember one instead of three it is enough. The objective for weddings in the church now is that the sermon should try and set the tone of the wedding. It should speak to, for and about the couple. The prayers are usually not remembered by those present unless it is said slowly and meaningfully. This is where the wedding sermon becomes a take away for the couple, their family and the participants.



Picture courtesy www.vectorstock.com

Fast and pray for the minorities in Iraq, Syria and Palestine on September 12

The Federation of Karnataka Christian and Catholic Associations (FKCCA), the Indian Christian Union (ICU), the United Christian Forum (UCF) and several like minded body's have come together and decided on a fast and prayer on Friday, September 12, 2014 to protest against the genocide against minorities and Christians in Iraq, Syria and Palestine. Churches all over Karnataka will be having prayer and fasting in churches and wherever possible on Friday. The idea is to feel the pain of the hundreds of thousands suffering and to pray to God to help those who are fleeing from the aggression of the ISIS (IS) aggressors.

The Bangalore diocese of the Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church under its bishop H.G. Pathros Mor Osthatheos is also passing on the message to churches in Bangalore and asking people to fast and pray wherever they are; in churches, offices, schools and public places and tell their friends as to why they are not eating. Many members of the church are directly affected by the violence in Iraq and Syria.

The press note of the press conference held on August 30, 2014 in the Bangalore Press Club is given below.

PRESS NOTE 30/08/2014
1. Five percent of the population in Iraq consisted of Christians and now it is dwindling and this has started in 2003 itself not just today. The ‘New American’ reported that- “Before the U.S. government imposed so-called “democracy” on Iraq, estimates suggested there were as many as 1.5 million Christians throughout the diverse country. They had survived centuries of invasions, persecution, and more — but in many respects, the community was still thriving. Today, experts and Christian leaders suggest the number of Christians still in Iraq is somewhere closer to 200,000. Many of those would leave if they could”.
2. As per unofficial estimates One lakh and 70 thousand people have already been killed, yet the Indian Media or the American Media has not reported this because the American Media considers it as a Middle East problem, and the Indian Media has not reported it because it’s not the OTHERS, Non-Christians who are killed or suffering in Iraq.
3. We strongly feel that the problem in Iraq is caused by a “misunderstanding of Islam”, those who propagate the holocaust are actually unaware of true Islam and Quran’s teachings.
4. The silence of Christian’s in India and also the other communities regarding the persecution of innocent children, men and women in Iraq is by itself violence in silence. When we see violence our silence is also an equally condemnable violence and injustice against humanity, if we do not raise our voice against it. Hence we urge everyone to raise their voice or be ready to accept the blame that you are also a part of the violence by your silence.
5. Today it’s us Christian’s but, tomorrow it could be you, all the others such as the Hindus, Sikhs, Jain, Buddhists & Parsi’s
6. We, Christians belonging to all denominations would be observing September 12th Friday as a day of fast.
7. We, would be observing a ‘BLACK SUNDAY’ and also hold a public demonstration of protest on September 14th Sunday, at the St.Joseph’s Indian High School grounds at 3.00 pm and later a delegation of Bishops and leaders of all denominations led by the Arch Bishop of Bangalore, His Grace. Most.Rev.Bernard Moras would submit a memorandum to the Governor of Karnataka, inviting the attention of the central government to the plight of Christian’s in Iraq and demanding a strong denouncement by India of the holocaust of Christians in Iraq.
We appeal to all right thinking people Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Jain, Buddhists and Parsi’s to condemn the execution of Christian’s in Iraq in the name of religion.
Abraham T.J
President, Federation of Karnataka Christian& Catholic Associations-FKCCA
President, Indian Christian Union-ICU

Also addressing the press are Rev.Dr.D.Manohar Chandra Prasad,CSI Pastor, Sr.Lincy Cherian,Provincial of Holy Cross Provincialate, Fr.Thomas Kallukalam, Parish Priest, St.Thomas Frlorane Church, Dharmaram College P.O, Rev.N.J.Samson, Chairman & President, Karnataka Baptist Federation, Fr.Jerry Kurian-Representing Bishop H.G.Pathros Osthatheos of the Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church, Fr.Victor Fernandes, Capuchin Fathers & Mr.Dolphy D'Cuna, President –Carmel Kutam.





Top picture courtesy www.ibtimes.co.uk

Wedding sermon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cERDXv2oCr8 This is a wedding sermon preached for the wedding of Dr. Thomas and Dr. Anupa on April 14, 2013 in the St. Mary's Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Cathedral, Queen's Road, Bangalore. God bless them always.

Understanding the North East: A need to take out the hot pan to stem rumours

Fortunately the fear and fleeing of people from various parts of the North East has come down in the past 24 hours. The government on its part in Karnataka has taken steps to assure the students, workers and professionals that what has happened is the work of a few rumour mongers. Sms’ from the government with this assurance of security and peace has indeed been a step in the right direction.

Bangalore in particular looks ready to handle any situation. The government is positive in its approach, the police are keeping a watch and leaders of Muslim communities are pro active in assuring North Easterners that no hate campaign is going on and are reminding those who come for prayers that this is a season of fasting and peace and no one should be swayed by any campaign whatsoever.

Individuals, groups, institutions and religious groups have all got together to say that no one should leave and those who have left should come back. One should be happy that simultaneously the media, civil society and the government have all come together to ensure peace.

But one cannot but wonder how a few rumour mongers managed to scare so many people in a matter of hours and instigated a panic situation? Will people wilt under the weight of a few sms’? Or is there something more to this? I wonder whether I would have done the same thing had there been similar rumours against my safety. Maybe I would have, as everyone has some sort of fear of their belongings and their life. But this exodus may also be the result of an insecurity felt by those from the North East in various parts of India. The lack of understanding has at least to an extend led to the ghetto-isation of certain communities. This of course is not special just to the North East community. But there has somewhere been an opportunity lost in the understanding of our sisters and brothers.

The very reference "North East people" which has been doing the rounds in all forms of the media and whenever anyone of importance has talked itself smacks indifference in the form of a lack of understanding. The population in Bangalore is a mixed bag of people from various states from the North East. They include Assam, West Bengal, Tripura, Nagaland, Mizoram, Manipur and Meghalaya to name a substantial lot. There are differences between the various states mentioned and it is unfortunate that for convenience we (including myself) bracket everyone together.

The way forward for now is dispelling any kind of rumours going around. But there is also a strong need to understand our friends from the North East, their culture and traditions. Food is one way of breaking dividing walls and frequent coming together should be encouraged to understand that India is not confined to one religion, region, caste, culture or ethnic identity. This could be a way of making everyone comfortable enough to stay, not with standing any form of rumour. The same institutions which are now playing a good role in re-assuring and offering their places to all should take the role in playing out this role as well.

Religious institutions like theological colleges have an important role to play here. These institutions are a wonderful mix of several identities coming together at the same time and under one roof. There will be several opportunities to get to know each other, taste each others food and understand one another’s culture. Such institutions along with several educational institutions and companies can take the lead to not just bring people together for study and work but also for peace in society.

The freedom to be

Freedom in one’s own country can be seen in two ways. One is the freedom enjoyed under one’s flag. It is a nostalgic, goose bump like freedom felt when the national anthem is sung and several gather together with the understanding that we are all one. The second thought goes against the first one. It goes in the direction of “Am I really free?” One is overly positive and the other overly negative. Both have their right to exist and to be.

The violence in Assam and the follow up in Mumbai and the fear rumours down South in Hyderabad and Bangalore make one think of the country we live in and the freedom we have. One must be grateful for the rights we have and the opportunities one gets because one is Indian. But the lack of opportunities and the refusal of being safeguarded by the Indian constitution will make those who suffer wonder what they get from their own country. Is it right to call those who question their lack of rights unpatriotic?

The Indian constitution is multi faceted and quite comprehensive in itself. Dr.B.R.Ambedkar definitely gave some thought and effort into the process. There may be certain sections which need a revisit because of new additions to the social fabric of life and society. But otherwise there are several commentators who believe that what India needs is the following of the constitution and that in itself will safeguard all citizens of this country and give them the freedom to be what they want to and live where they want to as well.

There are other commentators who would say that the constitution has become redundant and therefore needs a thorough overhaul and even if it is comprehensive other measures are needed to safeguard the people of this country. What I have been hearing in Bangalore for several hours now is very disturbing. Thousands of people from the North Eastern part of India have boarded trains to their home states in fear that there will be some kind of a back lash due to the violence in Assam. This is definitely fact as the Indian Railways had to arrange special trains because of the huge number of people who wanted to leave. What is not fact and definite though is the rumours that are spreading around about the violence that is going to happen. No one is ready to say who is spreading the rumour and sending sms’s. The government on its part is trying its best to assure the people.

Incidents such as these should be condemned and people should get together to assure any community or group of people who are being threatened. The constitution should be followed and rules have to be adhered to especially when people are violated in any way. There can be no ‘us and them’ at times such as these and everyone should rather come under the tri colour to protect rather than threaten. If I cannot do even these simplest of things the head I held high during the hoisting of my country’s flag will go down in shame due to the fact that I did not protect a fellow Indian and a fellow human being. I guess there may be many like me who don’t want great economic progress, an Olympic gold, and a certification from the World Bank. I would rather have the freedom to go and live anywhere in this country, work and just be. I don’t think it is too much to ask for this in this month of Independence.

If we feel we have the independence then so should our sisters and brothers from other parts of India. This then becomes our new struggle for independence where we fight not just for our own independence but for the independence of other fellow Indians and human beings. In the mean time let us stand up for a just cause and tell our friends from the North East that you are a part of this land just as we are. Let us be mutually hospitable to each other and to others.

Thinking aloud for the youth in Bangalore

It is difficult to suggest new things for the Jacobite church youth in Bangalore as there are varying needs. But it helps to start a thinking process aimed at the growth of the youth activities and its positive impact on society. In this light we can look at the following.

1. Programmes for the youth- understanding society and the people we live with, understanding other denominations and religions, having resource persons from different fields talking to the youth. Apart from these, church oriented classes on history, theology and liturgy can also be planned depending on the availability of resource persons.
2. Making sub groups- it will be beneficial to make sub groups within the youth group so that people staying in the same place can meet often. These groupings should not be based on gender but on geographical location.
3. Unofficial gatherings- the youth can gather together in common places and have short talks or discussions. This does not have to be in church because the church may be far for many. These unofficial gatherings could be getting together for tea/coffee, dinner and the like. Being in a youth group should not put pressure on members but should rather be an opportunity to mingle freely and open up when the need arises.
4. Data base for the youth- there should be a data base for the youth whereby names, addresses and other details can be collected. This should be kept by the office bearers and should not be misused in any manner.
5. Project identification- the youth should visualize a project which they can raise funds for and manage by themselves. For instance, it could be a hostel for women and men youth members who come from Kerala and would need accommodation. Or it could be providing paying guest facilities for the youth. This should be co-ordinated by the youth themselves. For this purpose any youth from Kerala or other places should be able to contact the youth here and ask for any help. This could be help regarding a job, a place to stay, marriage, and the like. The project thus can be big or small depending on how the youth would like to do it.
6. Website or blog- the youth group should have a web site or blog which is comprehensive and updated regularly. Programmes should be conducted at least once a month and this should be accounted for in the calendar. It should be explored whether online chatting facilities are also possible for youth members and how far social networking sites can be made use of.
7. Worship for the youth- the need for this can be discussed. The youth can either meet in different places and pray, or come together in church, or do both. The need for English qurbana will vary according to different churches and therefore individual churches should take those decisions.
8. Committees for regions- the youth committee of a particular church can also be the committee of the region for the diocese. They will then report in the diocesan level youth meeting on the work they are doing in their region.
9. More roles during qurbana- the women and men of the youth should be encouraged to take a more active role during qurbana and other services in church. This includes choir, bible readings, special songs, and skits. As far as possible, women should also be given roles just as men.
10. Helping Sunday school- the youth should also actively involve themselves in Sunday school as the younger crowd will be able to identify better with the youth. This will also give an opportunity to mingle with the younger crowd in church.
11. The youth group should be baby friendly- many youth members especially women are not able to attend meetings because they are taking care of their little ones. Some scheme should be devised wherein we make such families comfortable in attending such meetings.
12. Understanding each other- there may be cultural and other differences within the youth group and this should be dealt with by encouraging people to people contact and interaction. This will go a long way in ironing out differences and bringing about a deeper understanding of one another.
13. Debates and interaction- debates should be arranged on topics of interest. For instance the Jan Lokpal bill has evinced a lot of interest in people. Wouldn’t it be good if we were able to discuss it among the youth and try to understand the issue more deeply?
14. Overnight camps- as part of the mingling process it would help to have small youth camps where over night stays are also encouraged. These have been conducted in the past but we could get more experimental.

(This was presented for a church diocesan youth gathering in Bangalore in July 2011.)

Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Portal workshop held

A day long workshop on the feautures and model of a Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church Portal was held in the St. Ignatius Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church, K.R. Puram, Bangalore yesterday. Youth members from several Jacobite churches in Bangalore attended the workshop which gave stress to collecting information, editing, compilation and writing styles for the purpose of online publishing. The Bangalore diocesan metropolitan H.G. Pathrose Mor Osthathios gave an introduction to the workshop and elaborated the need for a Jacobite Syrian Orthodox Church Portal in this era of technological innovations.



Priests of the diocese and youth members came together in a unique exercise which is set to continue in the future as well. Immediate brain storming, collecting and validation of information, distribution of work and transparent decision making were all possible under one roof. Such an initiative also offers a hitherto untested model of governance in the church.



The unique undertaking is a coming together of tradition and technology and aims at including the aspirations and needs of the old and new members of the church. Such an initiative is a first in the church in terms of planning and executing. The ambitious project has many uniqe features and has already been discussed in the Holy Synod of the church.

From Thiruvalla to Bangalore: A trial of a horrific murder

One cannot fathom the dissection of a murder after it is committed. Everyone is an expert and they offer expert opinions on everything under the sun. The Bangalore murder of a 24 year old woman from Thiruvalla came as a shock to all. The reasons were several. One, how a strain occurred between a couple who were married for barely a week? How could a murder be committed within minutes of the couple arriving in Bangalore and being left by the boy’s parents just to get breakfast? Weren’t there tell tale signs that something was wrong? Didn’t the parents or other family members see any signs of an impending tragedy? How was this wedding arranged? Weren’t the facts implored and the couple given enough time to get to know each other?

There are two versions flashing around in the public post mortem. One is that the girl was too “forward” (meaning smart and confident on a positive note and ruffling a few traditional feathers on a negative note) for the boy and therefore this was a murder waiting to happen! One should think about this statement in slow motion to let the damage of this to sink in. Interestingly, the ammachi’s (grandma’s) and aunty’s (middle aged mom’s) are the ones who are spreading this version of the story. It is very sad that when the girl’s family will be looking for some solace all it is going to get are these behind the back comments from friends and near strangers, all claiming to know everything there is to be known. The other version is of the boy and that he had psychological issues even before the wedding. This is the opinion of few of the people in Bhopal who knew the boy’s family. What was an open secret for people who knew him remained a mystery to everyone else. Does this mean that Syrian Christians hide behind their history and tradition while in reality they face a host of important issues which they are not willing to discuss?

For me what is shocking is not the murder as such but the utter disregard for the two families and those involved. Kerala’s Christian population in its effort to move as far as possible from the tragedy is blaming everyone apart from itself. Priests, bishops, culture changes and even globalisation are blamed. Very convenient, considering that it sends everything back to its normal path and eases people into their comfortable existence. But this habit of time and again asking the wrong questions should be done away with and more relevant answers should be sought for relevant questions. Obviously the church has to discuss the question of what should be followed before a couple gets married. This includes offering pre marital counselling, taking a proactive interest in the wedding, giving an opportunity for the couple to speak and understand each other and for a couple to decide whether they like each other before they get married. But this is possible only with the help of the people in the church. Take for instance how a synod directive on how marriages should be conducted will be treated by the people. Some will be seen as unpractical, some against culture and some against family traditions and practices. Church members will then reject such directives.

The church population in Kerala has been quick to pinpoint the cause of the murder even before the investigation and the court trial. The media has reported based on hear say rather than investigative journalism. The usual reasons found were ‘the girl had a better salary’, ‘she was not happy with the wedding’, ‘she taunted her husband’, and ‘she refused physical intimacy’. All this suggests that the girl had murder written all over her face. What a travesty of facts. Fortunately rare voices begged to differ saying that the deceased girl was a confident young woman. Does this mean that by blaming the girl we can keep our Syrian-ness intact? We are definitely going to be found wanting on this front.

This being the case, what is the step forward? Are we willing to accept that the Christian population in Kerala is following one official faith but living another practical life? Are we willing to discuss the fact that both women and men should be given the space to take their own decisions and live their lives with respect and dignity? Do we have the courage to bring to the table the fact that the Syrian community has serious issues and we should be open about it rather than being closed and reserved? Does the church have an option of providing help for those who are going to get married, need help after marriage and want help in talking to and understanding each other at any point in their married life? Let us talk about these things and leave the bereaved families alone for the time being.

From debating conflicts to actions of sense

Doing my theological studies in Bangalore in the United Theological College, has been one of the highlights in my academic life. It was not about discipline, punctuality or anything else that one may associate with studying in such an atmosphere. It was about being real, and learning from various experiences to be real. There were for those who chose to open their eyes, plenty of opportunities to take off the unreal mask that many of us are used to wearing. The problem with these masks is that we then become so comfortable with it, that we never take it off, even in the presence of friends and family.

For the purpose of the stimulation of the mind and to test and develop one’s oratorical skills, we had the option of attending either the hostel general body or the student’s general body. This was a place where we would discuss our problems, sometimes for hours unending, mount a verbal assault on each other and then finally shake hands in mutual admiration. You could call it the parliament of theologians. It was not that every solution was hammered out with ease and every problem would be looked into, but that there was a space for discussion.

Among the many matters that came up for heated discussion was the age old one on ‘water.’ The hostellers had an aqua guard for purifying water before consumption. Ten years ago, this was not the heavy duty one, or the one promising reverse osmosis and sweet tasting water, but one which did ordinary work, in ordinary time. For years, we had used water from it, shared water with one another with not a bother. But the complex question was finally raised. “How can we share this water with students from the family quarters when this is supposed to be only for the bachelor and spinster hostellers”? The question shook everyone out of their slumber and a vociferous debate followed. The pendulum swung from one side to the other. Allegations and counter allegations did the rounds with regional affiliations and sensitivity to the ‘other’ being used. There appeared no solution. Because of water, food became an issue as we had to stop the meeting to have dinner. But this was one issue that could not be done away with a closing argument. Even the two teachers could not do anything.

This day, we got our share of reality bites. We could gauge the different groups we were divided into and the reality that we were not willing to part with the water which we were sharing for such a long time.

Amid the growling stomachs and the ayes and the no’s, one hand was lifted. A very weak one I would say. But silence followed nevertheless, more because everyone would have been tired by then. The hand was followed by a question to the chairperson. The question itself ensured more silence. “Respected chairperson, how many litres does it take before we should change the filter of our aqua guard?” There were whispers in the background and a frenzied calculation followed. “3000 litres, replied the chairperson.” Then the weak hand continued, “That means at a minimum rate of 100 students we use 200 to 300 litres every day. And that means in ten days we would have crossed the 3000 litres limit.” More silence and then, “How long has it been since we changed the filter?” Atleast six months said the chairperson after checking with others. The voice concluded, “That means we are sitting here and fighting over water that isn’t purified anyway? So what is the point?” A few gasps here and there were followed by incessant laughter. The chairperson got up to conclude the heated debate and said, “Shall we pray?”

This was indeed a lesson I learnt and still keep close to my heart. We fight over things which are not there. Land which is not ours, water which comes and goes, religion which appears near yet is so distant. Maybe its time for a bit of sense!

‘Statutory warning: Cross at your risk’ India’s aggressive development model vis-à-vis India’s aggressive roads

I waited to see if I would be cared for
Whether someone would stop and let me be
The wait continued in a forced anonymity
Till everyone else called ‘break’ in magnanimity


How many of us have felt paralysed in the course of trying to cross a road in a city (towns also these days)? My recent experience in Bangalore was indeed an eye opener.

It’s not just the fact that there is a dramatic increase in traffic or more cars in proportion to two wheelers, or narrower roads handling huge volumes, but the psyche that rests behind the steering wheel and the handle bar and the traffic rules. Both systemic apathy and individual ‘I care a hoot’ feelings come together to crush the aspirations of the foot bearer.

Does this signify anything? Does it mean that India is on the move and vehicles are bound to increase? Does it suggest that we are in a competitive jungle and ‘survival of the fittest’ is the norm? Does it bring about the age of the ‘fast and furious’?

My concerns go in the direction of the aggression we experience in the new India, the crazily developing India. It’s not just a question of increasing deadlines, swelling pay cheques (which is now zigzagging like the share market) and changing life styles. It is also about being impatient, impolite, selfish, and doing whatever it takes to achieve one’s goals.

This aggressive push however totally forgets India’s underprivileged. The poor, the discriminated, the old aged, the have-nots, and even the silent environment (including the trees and the natural flora and fauna) are out of the picture. It’s not about crossing the road in a city but it’s about being left out of India’s so-called push for progress and development. Those who want to be a part of this are only given the option to follow the industrial-information-labour-share-automobile dispensation while others can wait for the time when the dispensation rests, the time we are served out mercy from the plates of the haves. If we flaunt existing un-written rules and venture to cross…’Cross at your own risk’…