Every move you make, every step you take… let your daughter free

Every move she made was under my surveillance
Every step she took was onto a choreographed foundation
Every person she met depended on my green signal

She was my child in every sense
Brought into the world with good intention
Bringing name and fame through careful creation

One day she would be married in full celebration
To a man who closed in on my expectations
Leading to everlasting joy and fulfilment


How many times have we heard something like this? Fathers being over protective of their daughters and yet using them for their own gains? Let’s be truthful about it. How many fathers have whole heartedly greeted the news of their wives giving birth to baby girls?

The disappointment would then be converted into over protection and safeguarding of property (as they are sometimes even denied the status of human beings). As soon as someone gives the idea that this ‘property’ can be invested for good income, they are then let loose into the flesh market, movies (where they end up being used as a commodity rather than being taken seriously for their acting talent) and any job where good returns can be expected.

The final major decision will be the one of who the daughter will marry. Even though things have changed drastically, fathers in India still like their daughters to get married to their choice of a groom who will continue the work started by the father.

There definitely needs to be a change in perception and the way women are treated right from their birth to the end of their lives. The season of fasting and prayer also has to bring forth the concept of equality of the sexes in all it’s fullness. The pre-defined concept that boys can take care of themselves and girls need protection and safeguarding has to be replaced by the concept that each individual has it in her/him to decide on what she/he wants to do. And if they need help they are capable of asking.

Role reversal

We all have our roles to play or that is what we believe. How many times have we heard that if we stick to the role we are given, everything will fall into place and there will be harmony and peace? Depending on which role is played by whom, this makes sense to a few but unfortunately not to everyone.

As a child I was clearly told what I was supposed to do, what role I was expected to play and how. I had to take care to study and get a good job with a nice pay packet. I was not supposed to enter the kitchen and cook food, nor was I expected to do anything in the house. The lines were clearly drawn. As a boy and a man my scope of work was outside the house. Who then was to care of the house? The woman of course. The mother, daughter, wife, whoever fell on the other side of the sex genes!

India is trying hard to shed the old image of cows on the road and poverty, and trying to project sky-scrapers and the sophisticated image. But what usually gets conveniently forgotten is the equality of the sexes and how important this is to reflect the progress that a country makes. The parliament is divided over the arithmetic and caste issues of 33% reservation for women in parliament. First pass the bill, implement it and then think of how it could be made all inclusive! (It is a shame that even in the west many men still expect women to be house makers and fulfil certain roles)

What then is the role of women? Is it to be a house maker, a maid, a cook, a piece of the house furniture? To understand this, we have to come to terms with our role in life. Who am I and what is my role? Am I the king, the master, the lord, or God? Can I go beyond this and can I swap my role with a woman- my mother, sister, wife, friend?